May 5, 2016

Why life always do this to me? Why I can’t be happy as I want to be? It’s been 5 months since I became miserable like this. Why the heck this life always pissed me off? Everything in my life is in a mess right now. My life has nothing to offer but loneliness. I can’t take this anymore. I really don’t want to live in this life that’s full of mess. No one knows what I’m struggling right now. All they knew is I’m happy, I’m alright, I’m peaceful. But the truth is, behind those smile, is the woman who cries herself at night just to fall asleep, a woman who’s in her own battlefield, a woman who’s heart is broken but still can be able to smile, a woman who’s heart is overloaded of sadness but can still be able to offer a help, a woman who cannot solve her own problem but can still manage to solve her friends problem. I always asked God “WHY”. Indeed, I can’t take this anymore. I’m emotionally and mentally dead. It’s been 5 months since I felt this and nothing change every day. When I woke up, everything gets worst. No one stay beside me. I’m depressed. I really can’t take this anymore. I wanna die.