17 Changes To Make In Your Love Life In 2017

Definitely, I'll do this on 2017. ^_^

1. Be selective with who you give your heart to. Make sure that they are worthy, that they deserve it, that they will hold it carefully.

2. Do the same thing with the hearts of others. Be gentle, be respectful, remember that any heart that is placed in your hands is attached to someone’s soul.

3. Remember that the timeline of your love life will always be the right timeline for you. Who cares if your one friend got married at 24 or your other friend got engaged at 29 or your sister had her first baby at 31. Remember that whichever way your life works out is the exact way it is supposed to work out.

4. Understand that someone wanting to be with you simply because they are lonely is not love – it’s selfishness and fear.

5. Be comfortable with standing up for yourself when you’re right, and be comfortable with apologizing when you’re wrong.

6. Stop wasting your time with people who make you feel small, or not good enough, or like you need to change yourself.

7. Remind yourself that it’s completely possible to be in a healthy and happy relationship and to still have a completely solid sense of self and a solid sense of independence.

8. Understand that if you want to feel the pure high of truly falling in love, you have to be willing to jump and you have to be willing to get hurt.


9. If you get hurt, remember that it’s so much better to have let your heart experience this than it is to sit ‘safely’ in a dark room, never being shattered but also never truly experiencing how much the human heart can feel.

10. Remember that you are under no obligation to explain or rationalize any part of your love life to anyone, unless you want to.

11. Listen to and take in the advice of people you trust, but remember that at the end of the day, only you know what’s best for you.

12. Remind yourself every day that you don’t need a significant other in order to combat your loneliness. And that if you can work up the courage to ask for help, the people who care about you will do everything in their power to show you that you’re never alone.

13. Tell someone when you like them and don’t feel weird about it. If they like you too, great. If they don’t, this is the best possible way to weed out the kind of person who is just here to play games.

14. Remember that real love means seeing one another’s greatest flaws and insecurities and loving each other all the more because of how human it makes you and how much stronger it makes your connection.

15. Don’t apologize for having high standards, as long as those standards are focused on finding someone who treats you well and makes you feel loved.

16. Ignore the temptation to compare your love life to everyone else’s. It’s a waste of time, it’s never accurate, and all it does is spin you in circles about something you never know the full story on anyways. Focus on you, and your love life, and ignore everything else.

17. Love yourself enough to choose good love. You deserve it.

13 Signs You’re Finally Dating A Good Man

1. He makes an effort to get to know your friends and family. And not just as a favor to you. He genuinely wants to know the people you care about.

2. He actively roots for you and your personal success. He isn’t threatened by your achievements. He’s proud and loves sharing in those moments.

3. You never feel in competition. You are cheering each other on every step of the way.

4. He is respectful to your feelings. He doesn’t call you emotional or crazy. He tries to understand where you’re coming from, and if he can’t, he isn’t invalidating towards you.

5. He is respectful to women in general. He doesn’t make inappropriate comments about other women’s appearances. He doesn’t tear them down just because.

6. He shows up when he says he will. Both physically and emotionally. If he commits to something, you know he will come through.

7. He’ll buy you tampons while he’s at the store because he remembered you saying you were running low.

8. He’ll help you move or build furniture (that you first attempted to do on your own) without even needing to be asked.

9. He thinks of you two as a team. You’re partners in everything you do, always giving equally.

10. He lets you know how he feels about you. He doesn’t play games. He isn’t cold or withdrawn. His love for you is never something he hides.

11. He makes you feel special. Even when you’re having a terrible day and everything seems to be falling apart. He’ll find a way to remind you how important you are to him.

12. He’s trustworthy. You can tell him anything and know it will stay safe with him.

13. Cheesy as it may sound, he inspires you to be a better person. And that’s the very epitome of a good man.

5 Ways To Pick The Right One

1. Marry someone nicer than you.

If you’re a narcissistic a-hole like most people, pick a fish with a better attitude than you. If you’re a self-involved pessimist (who isn’t?) get yourself a good-looking optimist who is also a good swimmer. If you’re a pretty decent person, despite the habit of picking fights when you’re drunk and a mountain of student loans, marry someone with no debt who still loves you when you regain consciousness in the morning. Marry someone who likes animals and is nice to kids, even if you’re not particularly fond of cats or kids. Marry someone who likes your family even if you’re family is messed up. Marry someone who makes you coffee and kisses your neck to wake you up in the morning. Marry someone kind, and who will be kind to you ad infinitum.

2. Marry someone interesting.

If you are not going to be a divorce statistic, interesting is important. People who are interested in things are interesting. Only boring people are bored. Marry the one you have a shared interest with or marry the one whose interests you respect and admire. Passion is a turn on. Passionate people inspire passion. Don’t marry Boring; it will eventually bore the shit out of you both. You want to live a passionate, inspiring life? Marry someone interesting and good in the sack.

3. Marry your best friend.

Marry the person you trust the most in the world. Marry the person who gives a shit about what happens in the course of your days here on earth. Some study somewhere has indicated that if you marry your best friend, you have a better shot at a happy marriage. For most people, happiness is hard. It’s ephemeral and challenging. It’s the ecstasy of the moment, and the agony of most other moments. Marry the person you want by your side to face the fucked up things and the one you want by your side to enjoy the beautiful things.

4. Marry someone who is good in bed.

Marry someone who wants to have sex approximately as much as you do, whether you’re a sex-obsessed perv or you’re only moderately interested in it on a daily basis (you think about screwing 45 times a day versus 145 times a day). What happens under the covers makes the world a tolerable place. Marry someone who is a good kisser and knows how to give good head, and by good head, I’m mean he knows how to use his tongue or she knows how to bob and weave with her mouth. There’s nothing that makes you feel more bliss than a blinding orgasm. Whether you make love with a lot of eye contact or hump like bunnies, marry someone you want to get into bed with and do some recreational screwing.

5. Marry someone who is madly in love with you.

Marry someone you are madly in love with. There should be some mad love in there somewhere. Marry the one who unabashedly says “I love you.” Marry the one who texts, “I miss you, baby” even though it’s the middle of the afternoon snore at work. Marry the one who smooths back your hair sometimes when you’re hungover and Netflixing on the couch. Marry the one who loves you even though you can be a self-involved a-hole sometimes. Marry the one who makes you laugh and gives you mind-numbing orgasms and who doesn’t mind doing the laundry four weeks in a row. Marry the one you love so much, you’ll do the laundry four weeks in a row. Marry the one who is the home and heart you never want to leave.




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If You Look At Her And Don’t Feel Blessed, Let Her Go

If you don’t see the radiant light that she gives off when she’s doing even the simplest things, let her go.

If you don’t see the way her smile can change the moods of others around her, let her go.

If the sound of her laugh doesn’t bring you joy, let her go.

If you don’t feel blessed to have her in your life, through the good and the bad times, let her go because she is not your blessing to have.

She is another man’s blessing and you are holding her back from what she truly deserves.

When you love her you have to love all of her, you can’t pick and pull at the pieces you love and try to manipulate and change the rest of her. That is not how love works.

You have to look at the woman in front of you and love all of her.

You have to love how she changes her mind 10 times before she resorts back to her original plan. You have to love how she’s always five minutes late because she couldn’t get her hair to curl just right. You have to love how she forgets to turn the stove off after she cooks dinner. You have to love all her flaws because they are part of who she is and you can’t change that.

Because the same woman who is forgetting to turn the stove off is the one who’s cooking you dinner. Because the same woman who is curling her hair to get it just right is not only doing it to make herself feel good, but also to look good by your side.

Everything she does, she does partially for you, for your sake and your happiness. She loves you with her whole heart and will go the extra mile just to see your face light up with a smile.

She is willing to make sacrifices for you and she is willing to adjust her lifestyle to fit you in and make you comfortable because she knows true love is about sacrifice.

She knows true love isn’t only about loving each other’s strengths but also each other’s weaknesses.

 So if you don’t love her weaknesses like she loves yours you have to let her go.

This girl is a blessing, she’s a true blessing and everyone around you can see that, and if you don’t it’s time you let her go.

It will crush her that you couldn’t love her the way she loves you, but it will free her to find someone who will give her the appropriate attention she deserves. Someone who will cherish her and love all of her, despite how indecisive she may be.

If you look at her and you don’t feel blessed, you need to let her go because she is not your blessing, she is someone else’s and it isn’t fair for you to hold on to her when you know she could have better.

23 Quotes For When You’re Feeling Weak & Need A Push To Get Back On Your Feet

1. “And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in.”

— Haruki Murakami

2. “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”

— Khalil Gibran

3. “Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.”

— Abraham Lincoln

4. “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.”

— Ernest Hemingway

5. “Keep your head held high, gorgeous. There are people who would kill to see you fall.”

— Unknown

6. “There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.”

— Charles Dickens

7. “A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.”

— Vernon Howard

8. “We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle.”

— Marilyn Monroe

9. “So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”

— Marilyn Monroe

10. “You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”

— Eckhart Tolle

11. “Strong women wear their pain like they do stilettos. No matter how much it hurts, all you see is the beauty of it.”

— Harriet Morgan

12. “What happens when people open their hearts?” “They get better.”

— Haruki Murakami

13. “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”

— Chris Bradford

14. “At the end of the day, all you need is hope and strength. Hope that it will get better and strength to hols on until it does.”

— Unknown

15. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

— Mahatma Gandhi

16. “Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.”

— Christian D. Larson

17. “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

— Marcus Aurelius

18. “The kind of beauty I want most is the kind that is hard to get – the kind that comes from within strength, courage and dignity.”

— Ruby Dee

19. “One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.”

— Albert Schweitzer

20. “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

— Marilyn Monroe

21. “I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning.”

— Haruki Murakami

22. “For example, the wind has its reasons. We just don’t notice as we go about our lives. But then, at some point, we are made to notice. The wind envelops you with a certain purpose in mind, and it rocks you. The wind knows everything that’s inside you. And not just the wind. Everything, including a stone. They all know us very well. From top to bottom. It only occurs to us at certain times. And all we can do is go with those things. As we take them in, we survive, and deepen.”

— Haruki Murakami

23. “Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.”

— Napoléon Bonaparte




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I Hate You For Trying To Save Our Broken Relationship

I hate you for being a nice guy.

I hate you for not putting up a fight whenever I try to pick one. I hate you for making it up to me whenever I am sulking, for giving me some space when you know I am not in the mood. I hate you for always being the only one who apologizes whenever we have a fight. I hate you for trying to make things right between us, for pretending that we will be fine when we can both see that things are just not working for the two of us. I hate you for trying to save us when all I do is to find a way to break us up.

I don’t know how to break the news to you, but I am no longer in love with you. I have felt the loving feeling I had for you slowly fade into thin air. I can still remember the days when I was deeply in love with you, when I thought you were the one for me. I can recall the times I dreamed about spending the rest of my life with you. I can remember how happy I was back then.

But I can’t remember the feeling anymore no matter how hard I force myself to. You know I have tried. But I can’t fool myself any longer. And so I have decided to stop making myself believe that this is just a phase all long-term relationships go through because I can see as clear as day that it is not. This is more than just falling out of the honeymoon phase.

Staying this long with you made me realize that we aren’t made for each other.
Sadly, we have built our relationship on a false belief that we are compatible with each other and that we think alike. But now that I have learned about who I really am while being with you I can see that we don’t fit in each other’s worlds anymore. We think so differently, and so our worlds will never really collide. My heart is someplace else and your dreams are in an entirely different world, and forcing ourselves to stay in this relationship will only do more harm than good.

This is why I hate you. I hate you for fighting for us. I do not want to be the bad guy, but you make me one by not giving up on us when I badly need to you. I hate you for refusing to see and accept that it is just not working, for believing that we can make this work. I hate you for tormenting me with your kindness and love when all I want is for us to be mad at each other, yell at each other, and blame each other for the fall out.

I hate you for being a nice guy who won’t break a girl’s heart and leave her behind. You make it hard for me to set myself free, start over, and find happiness again on my own. If this is your way to punish me for falling out of love with you, please just stop. Stop acting as if you are a nice guy.

You Are 22 And Want To Save The World, So Do This

The anxiety of being 22. A friend wrote: “I’m 22, I want to start a business, I want to write, I want to help entrepreneurship in my country. I can’t decide.”

I’m paraphrasing. But 22 year olds have lots of things to say. And lots of things they want to do.

“What should I do?”

I responded…

You are 22 so:

1. No rush. Cut in half the speed of everything you are doing.

2. Do it all. Don’t decide anything. Decisions kill 22-year-olds.

3. Results don’t matter. Just do these things.

4. Keep writing 10 ideas a day so you can be an idea machine. Be creative every day.

5. It’s OK that some things won’t work out as you planned. If you aren’t failing at some things then you aren’t doing enough things.

6. When you are 27 you will look back at 22 and think “There is no way I could have predicted what ended up happening.”

7. It’s good to have a big vision like you do. But it’s also OK that the big vision constantly changes. Get good at having a plan. But it doesn’t have to be a good plan.

8. Make lots of friends. This is the time to make friends that turn into lasting connections. Later on it’s much harder. This is more important than saving your country. Every artistic and scientific movement in history started as a group of friends in their 20’s.

9. Don’t forget that you are just planting seeds now. A garden can’t grow if you don’t water it. Learn, listen, love.

10. Every time you want something, try also to be happy not wanting it. Nobody knows at 22 (or 48) what will make them happy at 23.

11. Live life like you are going to die in a month but also at the same time, live life like you are never going to die.

If you live like like you are going to die in a month, you will care for other people. If you live life like you are never going to die you will see everything as just a ripple in the vast ocean.

Most importantly, you can ignore all of this advice. Most people do their thing. It’s poor judgment to give advice.

I’m 48 and this is the advice I follow for myself right now.




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All Of The Times When I Lost Myself

I lost myself once,

For a month

Down someone else’s couch.

And left when I grew tired

Of being

Crowded in the dark.

I lost myself once,

For 6 months

In someone else’s mouth.

And left when I found all

The words

They wouldn’t say out loud.

I lost myself once,

For a year

In someone else’s hands.

And left when they made

Promises

I didn’t understand.

I lost myself once,

For so long

That when I made it back –

The only things I knew

of Me

Were things I thought I lacked.

I found myself once,

Fast asleep

Inside of my own dream.

I kissed my eyes

And swore

To keep a closer watch on me.

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Date Someone You Can Be Weird With

First dates are so awkward most of the time. You try your best to be on your best behavior, trying to cover up pieces of who you are because you don’t want them to run at the first sign of a peak of weirdness.

You think about when to send a text and how to perfectly word it. You think of posting an Instagram photo and wondering what they will think of it. You do all these things when in reality that’s not you. It might be a piece of you, a little shade of you, but that’s not you.

You’re not a cookie cutter shape of a human, you cry at sad songs, you sing at the top of your lungs, you dance around in your underwear and you do everything else that makes you who you are.

So be weird.

Be weird and don’t pretend to be normal because news flash there is no such thing as normal, and if there is then normal is boring.

Date someone who doesn’t judge you for being who you are, someone who laughs even harder when you’re laughing so hard you snort.

Date someone who doesn’t think you’re being unapologetically you because you shouldn’t have to be unapologetic for being who you are.

Date someone who likes the way you laugh and thinks the jokes you tell are funny, and date someone who laughs even when they aren’t funny. Date someone who can laugh at you, not in a mean way, but in a way that is funny because you’re laughing at yourself and it’s so typically you.

Date someone who you don’t have to feel worried about making a fool of yourself in front of them because you know they think your quirks and flaws are you and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. You’re quirks and flaws are simply part of you, they don’t define you, they are just who you are. We are all flawed in our own little ways and you should embrace your weakness, just like you embrace your strengths.

You should date someone you can take turns with singing verses of a song of the radio at the top of your lungs while playing air guitar. You should date someone you can send ugly Snapchats to and make funny faces towards in public.

You should date someone you can look at when they do something completely embarrassing and say, “I love that person, that’s my person.”

Date someone who thinks you’re awesome no matter how weird or embarrassing or funny you’re being because when you look back at them you know they are rooting you on.

If you take one piece of advice from this, it’s to never date someone you can’t be your full self around. Never date someone who makes you feel embarrassed of yourself, never date someone who tries to cover up certain parts of you around certain people in their life. Never date someone who tries to change you.

That’s not fun and that’s not worth it.

Truth be told you’ll never fit into a cookie cutter shape of someone’s life, ever. You’ll always be too loud, too weird, too much or too little of something. Your elbows won’t fit properly and your stomach won’t be the right shape, so get out, leave that relationship. Stop trying to fit into a cookie cutter life you don’t belong in.

Unleash yourself and be free, be weird and be the amazing person you are without any restrictions because you don’t need restrictions.

You are perfect in every weird way, date someone who knows that, date someone you can be equally as weird with.



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Sometimes I Wonder If I’ll Ever Feel Whole Again Without You

I try not to live in the past. I try to keep looking forward and keep moving on with my life, but I often find myself looking back. I can’t help but look back.

Sometimes I get scared that you were as good as it’s going to get. I can’t stop my mind from wandering into thoughts like that because when I was with you it felt like I found home. You made me feel like I belonged, like when I was with you that’s exactly where I was supposed to be. It was like fate knocked on my door and told me to come to you and ever since that moment I haven’t been able to get enough of you.

It’s weird to think that you could spend so much time with a person and never get enough. It’s never enough. You feel like there is so much you still had to learn. So much more of them you wanted to explore. So many more laughs you needed to let out.

You made forever seem too short because with you it was.

Our time ran out and it still breaks my heart, it still weighs heavy on my mind, but I try not to think about it.

I try not to think about how much I sobbed when I drove away, when all I could do is look back in my rear view mirror and hope that I’d be able to come back to you soon. But it’s been months and I haven’t seen your face, I haven’t felt your touch and I’ve only said your name to stangers who don’t understand the significance you have in my life still to this day.

I try to tell myself it’s okay to miss you, but I have to move on. I can’t keep torturing myself over the past. It’s not healthy.

I think about last summer and all the laughs we shared on the lake. I think about the morning walks we shared with coffee in hand and all the late night walks home with nothing but silence and the sounds of our voices to comfort us. I think about sitting in the sand with you by my side before running off to on our next adventure.

I think about how with you I was never bored. With you I could never get enough because after all that time together I still crave more.

I never wanted to be apart because you made me feel whole. I’ve been trying to find the words to think of to describe the way you made me feel, but I’ve been struggling. I’ve been struggling to come to the fact that you’re no longer in my life and that feeling of togetherness I felt with you is a feeling I probably won’t get back.

I think that’s the hardest part.

I try to stay hopefully as I try to mend the pieces of my heart, I tell myself I will love again the way I love you. Maybe I’ll even love more. Or maybe my heart will always crave you, maybe I’ll always reach out for your touch and you won’t be there. And even if we do reconnect maybe you won’t feel the same and I think that’s what scares me most.

I’m terrified that if our paths cross again – like I’m ever so hopefully they will – that the same spark and the same feeling won’t be there.  And if I’m being honest, I don’t know what I’d do if the one person that felt like home became just a hallow soul that I no longer knew.

I think part of me will always love you, but I’m certain part of you will always live in me and I don’t think I can ever fully let that part go.




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What He Means When He Says ‘I Need Space’ (And How To Deal With It)

Honestly, you haven’t been happier in any other relationship. You spend the majority of your time with him, thinking about him, or talking about him — it’s literally ridiculous how much you love him. The initial first couple of months you two have been together we’re damn near perfect, then one day he says it, “Baby, I need some space.”

As a woman, this stings — there’s no need to deny that. Instantly, we start contemplating what we did wrong that would cause him to need space apart.

We start asking questions like, “Are you thinking about whether or not you want to be together?” and that honestly just make things worse. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand your concerns, but I’ve learned from the few times I’ve been through this that lashing out is the last thing we should do. I think I’ve finally figured out what we should do instead. Here’s how to survive when he says he needs space:

Acknowledge and respect his request.

Don’t argue with him or become upset when he tells you he needs space. For one, there are a lot of men who don’t even have the balls to say this. Instead, they just ignore you and expect you to ‘take a hint’ or ‘get the picture.’ So do your best to respect the fact that he was man enough to trust you with how he is feeling right now. Also, acknowledge that you understand and care about how he is feeling right now and more importantly that you support his decision — even if your feelings are a little hurt.

Remember that you’re probably not the problem.

Most times, it’s not you — it’s him. Well, it’s not really him either. It’s life. We’ve all had times in our life where shit is just difficult. Unlike women, men don’t call their girl friends or their mom and cry or make decisions based on their emotions at the moment. They often take time to think things through, hence their needing space. So, try to understand that he isn’t asking for space from you because he doesn’t like you anymore (most times), he is asking for space to get his shit together. Let him get his shit together. It will pay off, I promise.

Remain confident — in all areas.

This is kind of hard to do when your feelings are hurt and your perfect relationship all of sudden isn’t so perfect anymore, but you MUST remain confident. Don’t let your mind defeat you by making you assume the worst. Stay confident in yourself, stay confident in the strength of your relationship, and stay confident in your partner. You can trust him. The fact that you’re even reading this right now proves that you want to give him the space he needs, but you want to make sure you won’t lose your baby either. I get it. Just stay confident that you two will make it through this small test.

Take advantage of the time apart.

Don’t sulk. Don’t overthink. Don’t tell all your friends so that they convince you of anything negative. Take advantage of the space you two are giving each other. Do a few things that make you feel good. Give yourself a makeover so that when you two do see each other you can’t resist each other. Learn a new sex trick to spice things up when it’s time. Whatever you do, just take advantage of it. Doing this will help you stay positive about the situation and it will make the time go by a hell of a lot faster. Trust me.

Give him his space.

At the end of the day, you’ve gotta give the man his space. If you have a good man, don’t worry about him doing anything he shouldn’t be doing. Remember, all of this is so he can get his shit together — for the both of you. Your relationship will benefit from this in the long run.

As we all know, there is no recipe for the perfect relationship and figuring out the ingredients to a healthy relationship isn’t any easier. This might work for you and it might not. It’s helping me, that’s for sure. Just remember, if in the end he decides that he doesn’t want to continue on in the relationship, don’t freak out. You’ll be alright, girl.



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22 Subtle Signs He’s An Abusive Boyfriend, Even If He Acts Like A ‘Nice Guy’

1. He never apologizes when he does something to upset you. In fact, he finds a way to turn the situation around so that you’re the one apologizing.

2. He makes you feel guilty whenever you go out with your friends.

3. He chokes you or slaps you during sex, even though you’ve told him it makes you uncomfortable.

4. He doesn’t want you to wear revealing clothing in front of other men.

5. He claims that he would kill himself if you ever cheated on him or broke up with him.

6. He calls you a bitch or a slut. Even if he’s acting like he’s saying it jokingly, you can tell he’s not joking at all.

7. He insults your appearance by calling you chunky or asking you to lose weight.

8. He purposely embarrasses you when you’re out in public together by telling stories that he promised he would keep a secret.

9. He can’t control his anger. Whenever he’s the slightest bit upset, he throws his phone or punches the wall.

10. He doesn’t let you touch the money in your joint bank account or your shared credit card.

11. He gets louder and angrier when he drinks. And he drinks a lot.

12. He gets jealous easily. He’s made you delete every other man’s number from your phone, even if you only had a platonic relationship with them.

13. He accuses you of cheating–constantly. He installed a GPS tracker on your phone and has called up your boss to see if you’re actually working.

14. The questions never end. Where were you? Who were you with? What time did you leave? Which streets did you take home? He’s not curious about your day. He’s trying to catch you in a lie.

15. He has sex with you, even when you tell him that you’re not in the mood.

16. He gets angry at the drop of a hat. To him, every little thing you do is wrong, from the way you fold the towels to the way you drive your car.

17. He wants to be the only person you spend time with. If you go out for dinner with your parents, he’ll get mad. And if you give the dog more attention than him, he’ll get mad at that, too.

18. He makes subtle comments about how you’re lucky to have him and how you’d never be able to find another man to put up with you if you left him.

19. He gets physical during fights. He might grab your arm or trap you against a wall.

20. He gets insulted easily. If you casually ask him to wash the dishes, he’ll act like you accused him of never taking care of the chores or helping you around the house.

21. Whenever you’re happy, he tears you down. If you get a raise, he’ll point out how he still makes more money than you. And if you get a big promotion, he’ll tell you that you probably slept your way to the top.

22. He hits you. I don’t care if it happened once and he apologized profusely. If he did it once, he’ll do it again.




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Why Saying That You Have ‘Trust Issues’ Will Hurt You In The End

Do you want to know the worst thing you can say to someone you’re dating? “I have trust issues.” Seriously, that’s like giving the crown to the wrong contestant and then turning around and saying, “My bad, you didn’t really win.” (I know, I still can’t believe that really happened).

Anyway, you get what I’m saying. Here they are basking in the thought of a beautiful relationship with you and there you go ripping away that reality with your trust issues. Honestly, it isn’t fair. Not to them though, to you. You’re selling yourself short every time you allow ANYTHING from a past relationship to hinder the potential of a new one. That’s for another day though. Here is what’s it’s like for the person on the other end of your trust issues.

“I know you don’t trust anybody, but you can trust me [seriously].”

Usually the person on the other end of your trust issues wants nothing more than to assure you that you can trust them with your heart. When you choose to pursue a new relationship in spite of your current trust issues, it is unfair not to give your new partner the opportunity to be someone who can earn your trust. You should want to overcome those issues for the sake of your relationship anyway. After all, if you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything.

“If you let me in, I can show you how to trust again–but you keep blocking me out.”

One of the hardest parts of being on the other end of your trust issues is the lack of (much needed) communication. As a result of trying to guard your heart, you have a tendency to block people out–even the people who care about you most. It’s hard to be in that position, especially when that person wants to be the person you feel safe enough to trust. They are usually willing to go above and beyond to show you how to trust again. At the same time, it hurts them a lot to know that even though they will do whatever it takes for you to feel safe trusting them, that you won’t take the risk and do just that.

“Should I be patient or am I wasting my time?”

When the person on the other end of your trust issues is trying to show you that you can trust them, they already have to approach the situation knowing that it’s going to take a great deal of patience. While they exercise patience though, the goal is to see some form of progress with you; otherwise it feels like wasted time. Again, it isn’t fair to be in a relationship with someone that you have no intentions of trusting. Don’t waste your time or theirs.

“I understand that they hurt you and broke your trust, but I AM NOT THEM.”

Another very difficult part of being the person on the other end of your trust issues is having to pay for actions that aren’t your own. What most people with trust issues fail to realize is that just because one person betrayed your trust doesn’t mean that everyone else will. If you get into a new relationship after the one responsible for your trust issues, leave the past behind you. Don’t treat your new partner like you know they are going to betray your trust or worse–as if they already have.

“If you won’t let your guard down and trust me, this will never work.”

Bottom line is, without trust the relationship will fail. If you feel completely unable to trust the person on the other end of your trust issues, you should let them go. Understand that it hurts just as bad as it did when your trust was betrayed to learn that someone you’ve worked so hard to prove your loyalty to doesn’t have any intentions of trusting you. When you give your best and it isn’t enough, that is really damaging. Trust me; I’ve been there.

Ultimately, it’s worth working through. If you know you have trust issues, stop using that as a warning. It’s an excuse not to overcome the problem. Deal with it and move on from the previous situation that caused the issue in the first place. Let it go!




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