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"Tanga mo"

"Bobo mo"

"Stupida ka"

"Hindi ka na niya mahal"

"Wag ka ng umasa"

"Nakakaawa ka"

"Nakakasawa na mga kwento mo"

"Moveon na"

At marami pang iba.Ganyan nila ako pag sabihan ngayong araw.Mga linyang yan na tumatak sa isip ko. Di ko namalayang umiiyak na pala akosa bus. Depressed na ako. Down na down na ako. Masakit marinig na sinasabihan ako ng ganyan kaso wala akong magawa kundi mahalin ka parin.

001

Ayan tinanggal ko na yung singsing. Yung sing sing na simbolo ng pagsisimula ng lovestory natin. Napakasignificant  satin  ng singsing na yun. Ilang beses ng muntikang mawala pero bumabalik parin. Ngayon, sinadya ko na. Sinadya kong tanggalin para masanay ako. Parang yung sitwasyon ko, na gusto ko masanay akong wala ka na. Ay hindi ko pala gusto, kailangan ko. Kailangan ko para hindi nadin kita kulitin.

May 5, 2016

Why life always do this to me? Why I can’t be happy as I want to be? It’s been 5 months since I became miserable like this. Why the heck this life always pissed me off? Everything in my life is in a mess right now. My life has nothing to offer but loneliness. I can’t take this anymore. I really don’t want to live in this life that’s full of mess. No one knows what I’m struggling right now. All they knew is I’m happy, I’m alright, I’m peaceful. But the truth is, behind those smile, is the woman who cries herself at night just to fall asleep, a woman who’s in her own battlefield, a woman who’s heart is broken but still can be able to smile, a woman who’s heart is overloaded of sadness but can still be able to offer a help, a woman who cannot solve her own problem but can still manage to solve her friends problem. I always asked God “WHY”. Indeed, I can’t take this anymore. I’m emotionally and mentally dead. It’s been 5 months since I felt this and nothing change every day. When I woke up, everything gets worst. No one stay beside me. I’m depressed. I really can’t take this anymore. I wanna die.

An open-letter to my Mr. Almost

To Mr. Almost,

Hi good day! I saw you last Wednesday, May 4, 2016. I’m sitting at RTU’s promenade, waiting for my friends and then to my shock, I saw you. You’re still a handsome guy I’ve met 5 years ago. When I saw you, my heart beats faster and louder. I ran to chase you (even if I’m wearing high heels) and there! I called you “hon” and our eyes met. I fall inlove with you again. It’s like our first meeting at RTU’s OB Gym way back 6 years ago. Yes, I still remember the first time we’ve met. And then I follow you at the computer shop, I’m so happy because you’re sitting beside me. You’re on your way home and still, I keep on following you. I don’t wanna missed the chance having you here again, in front of me.

You’re mad. I know you are. I can see it in your eyes that’s why you didn’t wanna talk to me. I remember those memories on this road we used to take for 4 years. Those times we’re walking, holding hands and laughing. I also remember the first time you sent me to the terminal, it’s the same road we’re crossing today but now, everything is different between us. Those couple whose happily inlovewalkig by on that street, now, they we’re strangers again. You didn’t talk to me & whenever I asked questions you keep on telling me we don’t need to talk. I followed you until you ride a bus. I still begged for an answer “why did you leave me” and then you said you didn’t love me anymore and i don’t deserve you. I was crying in the whole trip because I didn’t believe of what you’ve said. I can see it in your eyes honey. Maybe your love for me seems fading but I know there’s still love even a little. Your eyes can’t lie. I asked you if I can hug you and you allow me. I was so very happy and yet emotional. I was crying as I hug you because I’m longing for you so much. For almost a month here you are. I’m hugging you so tight. I miss you so bad, I do really miss you that’s why I hugged you so tight and wish if we could stay for that moment and never last. I really miss you and I don’t wanna let go of that warm embrace. Your smell, your body that I was longing for, oh man! You’re driving me crazy again. After that, I saw you sleeping. I keep on starring at you and talk to myself “damn! This man is my world. My whole world and I can’t imagine myself not growing old with him”

As I stare at you, I knew in my heart that it was you. It was you I will marry someday, it was you who will be the father of my children, it was you whom I could spent my lifetime with. I knew it in my heart that someday, when God’s time happen, a perfect time rather, I know our paths will cross again. Maybe today we need to grow apart, maybe today we need to find ourselves, maybe today we need to be responsible on our own and someday when the right time comes, I know, I do know that it’s still you I will be seeing in front of the altar. I have this faith that it is still you and me till the end. I’ll be waiting for you Mr. Almost! Take care always because I know we’ll get married someday. I love you! See you at our wedding day!

You Don’t Deserve Someone Who Comes Back, You Deserve Someone Who Never Leaves

I used to wonder about people coming back after they’ve decided to leave. I used to wait for the day they come back and realize that they messed up or realize that life is miserable without me. But then I realized that better than all this mess is someone who never leaves.

Someone who never leaves when you hit bumps in the road, someone who never leaves when the rain starts falling down on you, someone who never leaves no matter how many other people are trying to get their attention, someone who chooses to stay every single day.

You deserve someone who never leaves when you tell them about the things you did that you’re ashamed of and the things that happened to you that you promised not to tell anyone. When you tell them about the things you really don’t like about yourself and the things you hated about your past. You deserve someone who never leaves no matter how dark it gets.

You deserve someone who never leaves when you tell them how much you love them, how much you really want to make them happy and how they make you feel something no else made you feel before. How they are special to you and how you really just want to spend your days looking at them and spend your nights sleeping in their arms.

You deserve someone who stays no matter how passionately you display your love and how fearlessly you show your emotions. You deserve someone who is not afraid of the way you love them.

You deserve someone who never leaves even if they found a better job or made more money or bought a fancier car. Someone who never leaves when they’re at their best, when they can get anyone they want but still choose you, when they don’t even care about exploring all these other ‘options’ to realize your worth because they know what they have and they know that you are one of a kind. You deserve someone who makes you believe that some people can stay.

You deserve someone who never leaves when things are not that exciting, when life becomes overwhelming for you to handle, when you are tired all the time, when you’re lost and confused and don’t know what to do next, when you keep doubting yourself and your capabilities. You deserve someone who reminds you of how you survived, someone who reminds you of your strength, someone who reminds you of your greatness and someone who reminds you that even though you can make it on your own, they want to be there, they don’t want you to be alone this time and they want to fight your battles with you.

Even though we all have that one person we wish could come back, what we really should wish for is someone who never leaves. Someone who left before could leave again but someone who could’ve left but decided to stay is exactly the kind of person you need to be with – is exactly the kind of person you deserve to be with.


(c)

34 Ways To Get Over Someone

1. Stop allowing your thoughts of them to only be the nostalgic, pleasant ones — find how much you dislike remembering the negatives when you force yourself to do so.


2. Re-invest in friends that you might have neglected when in the throes of a consuming relationship.

3. Remember how much you loved these friends, how much was good about your own relationships together, and how much you can just be you around them.

4. Start doing all of the things, and embracing the parts of your personality, that you had to put on hold when you were with them.

5. Listen to a lot of good, sad, happy, wonderful music and don’t spend the entire song looking for an obscure connection with what you had together. Sometimes a song is just a song.

6. Embrace the fact that you will think of them from time to time, and that you don’t have to run from those thoughts, but you also don’t have to feed them like an ugly little pet.

7. Focus, more than anything else, on being a good person — and understanding that such a person exists outside of a couple.

8. Splurge on a vase of nice flowers to put somewhere sunny.


9. Remember that you can still have orgasms — really awesome ones — without the help of anyone else, and that remaining connected to your body is nothing to be ashamed of.

10. Go on dates with the intention of simply having a good time, and not with grandiose expectations of something this is going to ‘replace’ or ‘live up to.’

11. Take a long bath with a glass of wine and realize how amazing the combination of a light buzz and soaking in hot water is.

12. Look in the mirror for a long time and pick out the things you really love, the things that you had let yourself forget about.

13. Watch good movies that make you cry, and realize that crying doesn’t have to be reserved for only one thing in your life.

14. Be realistic about why it ended.

15. Dance around your room naked, cook naked (though nothing with hot oil!), just hang out in general naked. Be naked. Naked!

16. Talk about it with friends if you need to, but don’t become an endless monologue following them around about your failed relationship. Learn to be concise with your feelings, and realize that the longer you go on about it, the more you are inevitably thinking about it.


17. Watch silly kids’ cartoons and eat bowls of cereal in your pajamas.

18. Go to a movie or eat dinner in a restaurant by yourself and realize that you can enjoy your own company — that you don’t have to worry that everyone is pitying you.

19. Get rid of them on social media, at least for a while. Creeping on them (or even giving yourself the opportunity to creep in a weaker moment) isn’t good for anyone.

20. Take a long walk around your city and just do fun, lazy errands like going to a bakery or picking out a new knick-knack for your apartment. Allow yourself to take the pleasure in small, everyday things.

21. Don’t worry about ‘winning’ the breakup. You’re not going to become the first ballerina president astronaut unicorn by the next time they look at your Facebook, so don’t waste time trying.

22. Work on being civil with their new significant other, whenever they should arise — they are not the devil, no matter how convenient that would be to your storyline.


23. Listen to “Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheatus on full volume and dance around. Because there is no situation which doing that doesn’t improve.

24. Don’t concern yourself with when your next relationship is going to come along. It’s a cliché that “love comes when you aren’t looking for it,” but it’s certainly not going to come when you’re chasing it around like a junkie.

25. Go out and have fun amongst friends, without worrying about impressing anyone.

26. Redecorate your room. Find interesting new ways to adapt to a space that seems completely dedicated to “before.”

27. Take a long drive with the windows down and no place in particular to go (within reason, gas is expensive).

28. Stop torturing yourself by poring over all your old conversations, texts, gifts, and everything that now exists only to upset you and make the entire past seem irrationally rosy.

29. Read a new book that pulls you so far into its world that you have a much-needed reprieve from your own.

30. Set up an OKCupid profile, if only just to browse around and feel a little ego boost from the messages you receive.

31. Don’t date someone seriously if they are just a rebound — no one deserves to be led on like that.

32. Learn to make a new recipe. Find that using your hands, making something from scratch, and enjoying eating it without guilt is an incredibly satisfying experience.

33. Listen to new music, music to be associated only with you and your awesome new life.

34. Realize that it’s not going to happen overnight, and you can’t force it, but (as with everything else), it will improve — and hating yourself in the meantime isn’t going to help anything. TC mark


(c)

Letting Go of Love

Have you been dumped, betrayed or left so heartbroken that you didn't ever want to love again? Are you still stuck on an ex and don't know how to move on? And how do you know when it's time to let go and look for love somewhere else? Dr. Phil has advice:

If you're "the other woman" who's waiting for a man to leave his lover, don't waste your time. "If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you," Dr. Phil says. The man you want lacks integrity and can't make a commitment.

Are your standards too low? Dr. Phil asks a guest who's waiting around for a man that's let her down time and again: "What is it about you that causes you to settle for somebody that you know will cheat on you, know will lie to you, know will make a commitment and then break it? What is it about you that you believe about yourself that you're willing to settle for that?" Recognize that you're settling and that you deserve more. Set a higher standard for yourself.

Does he really even make you happy? Be honest with yourself about the extent to which he's really meeting your needs. Chances are you're longing for the relationship that you wish it could be, and that you want to be in love with the person you wish he was. Dr. Phil reminds a guest: "There are times when you break up with somebody and you start missing them and you start thinking about all the good things. And then you're back with them for about 10 minutes and you go 'Oh yeah! Now I remember why I hate you!'" Don't kid yourself about what it was really like or glorify the past.

Don't wait around because you think he's going to change. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so the chance that he's going to ride in on his white horse and do the right thing is pretty slim. Dr. Phil explains, "To the extent that there's some history, you don't have to speculate, you just have to measure."

Don't put your life on hold. Every minute you spend focusing on your ex is a minute that's holding you back from a better future. Dr. Phil tells his guest, "As long you are obsessed on this guy, you will never put your heart, soul and mind into getting your life in order and starting another relationship if you want one." Set some goals and start putting your life back together.

Ask yourself: Are you hiding in the relationship so you don't have to face the reality of being on your own? Don't stay with someone because it's comfortable and safe. It may seem more secure, but it's not healthy for you and it certainly won't help you get to a better place. Why would you want to settle and waste your life away just to avoid getting back in the game?

Be clear with him. "You've got to say not just 'no,' but 'hell no,'" Dr. Phil tells his guest. "'Get out of my life. Stay away from me. Don't call me.'" If you live together, it's time to move out, or you may need to change your phone number. Dr. Phil reiterates: "Do what you have to do." If the circumstances are more complicated or severe, you may need to get a lawyer in order to get child support or to hold him accountable for any other outstanding issues.

Don't hold all men responsible for the mistake your ex made. Why should he pay for the sins of someone else who may have wronged you?

Learn to trust again — by trusting yourself. Dr. Phil tells a man who's having a hard time letting women back into his life: "Trust is not about how much you trust one person or another to do right or wrong. How much you trust another person is a function of how much you trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with their imperfections." Have enough faith in yourself to be able to put yourself on the line with someone, without any guarantee of what will happen next. If you're playing the game with sweaty palms, it's because you're afraid of what you can or can't do, or dealing with your own imperfections — it's not about the other person.

Know that you will get hurt if you're in a relationship. There is no perfect person without flaws. Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner. He's going to hurt your feelings. He's going to say things that you don't want him to say. He's going to do things you wish he wouldn't do and not do things you wish he would do. A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ''I'd rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone." If you want to be in a relationship, know that getting hurt comes with the territory. You just have to decide that you are durable enough, that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can handle it.

Don't invest more than you can afford to lose. While it's important to move forward, you need to take things one step at a time. Don't put so much out there that you'll be emotionally bankrupt if things go south.

Don't beat yourself up. You got through your last experience, you've learned from it, and now it's time to move forward. Dr. Phil tells his guest, "You'll move on and be a champion in your next endeavor as you did in your past ... Life is not a success-only journey. You are going to get beat up along the way."

Focus on yourself. All of us come into relationships with baggage, but you need to have closure on past experiences before you can start a new relationship with the odds in your favor. Dr. Phil tells a guest who's had trouble with her father, her brother and two previous husbands: "Unless and until you've figured out everything you've got to figure out about that and you get closure, you will never come into a relationship with a fresh and clean heart and mind and expectancy and attitude." You're probably not ready to get into another relationship until you heal the wounds of your past.

Listen to what he's saying. If he's telling you that you want different things out of life and there's no way you can work as a couple, don't turn his words around into what you want to hear. He's being quite clear.

Know the statistics. Dr. Phil tells a guest who's waiting for her ex to come around: "There's a 50/50 chance a marriage is going to work if both people are head over heels in love, passionate and willing to climb the mountain, swim the river and slay the dragon to get to each other. That's with everybody crazy in love and running toward each other in that field that we see in the commercials. The problem you've got here is he's running the other way in the field! So if it's 50/50 when you're running toward each other, what do you think it is when the other person is running out of the field and hiding in the woods?"

(c)