Is your relationship over? 17 signs that the love is gone
Falling in love is one of the most incredible experiences, and it often takes you by surprise. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever known, but flash forward a few years (or a few months!) into the relationship and the joy and laughter seems dulled somehow. The problem? You’re falling out of love. It can sneak up on just as quietly as falling in love did in the beginning. How can you tell if your romance is coming to an end? If you’re noticing any number of these signs, the love might be gone and it’s time for you to move on.
1. TALK OF THE FUTURE FADES AWAY.
At first, all you can talk about is your future together. You talk about your wedding, where you’ll live, what you’ll name your kids and how you’ll spend retirement together. How often has the future come up lately? Do you find yourself avoiding the topic? It’s a clear indicator your heart isn’t in it anymore.
2. IT’S PAINFUL BEING AROUND OTHER COUPLES.
Seeing other couples being so sickeningly happy is like a slap in the face. The two of you were once like that, right? You start to question whether you’re as happy as you should be together. You find yourself avoiding other couples because it’s just too painful. It hurts because you know it’s already over.
3. YOU SAY “I LOVE YOU” LESS.
Trying to force the words doesn’t really work. The less you feel them, the less you say them. You might find yourself smiling and changing the subject when he says he loves you. It’s probably one of the more noticeable signs, especially for the other person. Even if you do say it often, pay attention to how you feel when you say it. If it doesn’t feel right, then you’re falling out of love.
4. COMMUNICATION IS LESS FREQUENT.
Did you use to talk every day about your jobs, friends, hobbies, etc? Does it seem like TV is far more interesting than conversation? If you don’t live together, do you find yourself texting or calling less? You start to naturally avoid conversation as the love fades. It’s a natural instinct to prepare yourself for the impending breakup.
5. THE RELATIONSHIP IS JUST ANOTHER ROUTINE.
You get up, get ready, kiss him goodbye, come home, eat dinner together, watch TV and fall asleep in the same position as every other night. Wash, rinse, repeat. You see the relationship as just another daily routine. There’s nothing to look forward to. You might think you’re just too comfortable, but the problem could be you don’t really love him anymore and find the relationship dull and boring. Love isn’t routine and it shouldn’t feel that way.
6. YOU’D RATHER AVOID INTIMACY.
If intimacy happens at all, you try to make it as quick as possible. Even small things like snuggling on the couch or a quick kiss goodbye seems like you’re being smothered. Intimate moments are usually reserved for people in love. That’s what makes them special. If the love is dying, intimacy just feels wrong to you.
7. YOU NITPICK EVERYTHING.
Your guy probably seemed perfect in the beginning. Sure, you started noticing his flaws over time, but you loved him even more for them. Now, every little thing gets on your nerves. You can’t stand how he wears his hair or that weird sound he makes when laughs too hard. And why can’t he manage to sit down easier? Yes, you get annoyed by everything he does and you’re not afraid to let him know. The love is long gone and you’re well on your way to pushing him out of your life.
8. HEARING “I LOVE YOU” MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.
You probably feel a little guilty or uncomfortable when he tells you he loves you. Why? You don’t really feel the same. The worse you feel when he says it, the more obvious it is the love you once felt is fading away.
9. YOU SEE YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
It’s one thing to fantasize, but another to always see yourself with another guy. The majority of your thoughts shouldn’t be of another man when you’re in a relationship. Take this as a sign that you’re no longer in love with your current guy. Respect him and let him go. Your mind and heart have already moved on.
10. IT’S EXHAUSTING TO BE TOGETHER.
Relationships take work, but if it’s becoming exhausting just to stay together, it might be time to call it quits. Love helps give you the energy to work through the bad times. If everything feels forced and you don’t have that driving force to help boost you, you are going to feel exhausted every time the two of you are together. Give yourself a break and admit you’ve fallen out of love.
11. YOU’RE INTERESTED IN ANYTHING BUT HIM.
Your friends, hobbies, family, pets or that incredible new chocolate covered fruit you just found are all far more interesting than him. You daydream about other things when he’s around and always seem to have plans when you should be with him. Why isn’t he interesting anymore? You simply don’t care anymore.
12. TRUST IS A THING OF THE PAST.
As you fall out of love, you might stop trusting him as well. After all, you feel like you’re lying to him by staying. If you no longer trust him, the love is dying too. It’s time to find someone you do trust.
13. YOU SEE HIM AS MORE OF A FRIEND.
Even if you don’t love him anymore, you might still care about him as a friend. You’ll find yourself treating him like a friend instead of a boyfriend. You’d rather hang out and talk than slip between the sheets and cuddle afterwards. The love’s gone, but you’re hoping to save the friendship.
14. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT FIXING PROBLEMS.
Odds are, you’ve noticed the increasing number of problems in the relationship. When the love fades, the problems multiply. He might want to try to fix things, but you’re not interested. You couldn’t care less what happens. In fact, you’d be happier if things just fell apart. It’d save you the trouble of breaking up with him.
15. YOUR IDEAL FUTURE DOESN’T INCLUDE HIM.
Once upon a time, your future was his and vice versa. Now, he doesn’t even make a guest appearance in your ideal future. You see yourself living your dreams, but he’s no where to be seen. If you were in love, you’d find a place for him. Since there’s no love, you’ve already removed him from your future.
16. YOU STAY FOR OTHER REASONS.
The only reasons you stay with him have nothing to do with love. Maybe you have kids together or you can’t afford a place of your own. In your mind, you’re sticking around until the situation changes. If love isn’t one of the main reasons you stay with him, then you’re definitely falling out love.
17. YOU NOTICE YOU ALWAYS HURT HIS FEELINGS.
You don’t mean to, but you’re always hurting him. Maybe he said he loved you and you just hugged him. Perhaps he made special plans and you canceled to be with your friends. You care less and less about his needs and as a result, you hurt him. You see the signs. Use that as a sign you don’t love him anymore.
Falling out of love isn’t fun, but it’s easy to notice. Do what’s best for both of you and end the relationship. It’s the only right way to handle it.
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7 Signs You’re Not In Love Anymore
Falling madly, deeply in love with another person is a magical feeling. You want to shout it from the rooftops and let the whole world know. There are countless movies about falling in love, along with hundreds of self-help books that are guiding us in this direction. People are more than happy to share their experiences of falling hard for another person. They describe how fast the butterflies came the first time they kissed, or how they "just knew" when they saw the other person. But, no one really talks about falling out of love. It's not so easy to describe, and sometimes you can’t really put your finger on this feeling. You question this emotion when it comes along. Is this just a rocky road in my relationship? Will this pass? And honestly, falling out of love isn’t so black and white. It could be that you two have just ended the honeymoon phase and reality has now set in. Or, you and your partner have hit a rough patch, which every relationship will likely go through. However, with that being said, there are times when a relationship has run its course, and so has the love. As despairing as that can be, it can happen. It’s better to realize this now, rather than waiting for things to change, only to grow more unhappy in your relationship.
So, if you are unsure if the love is still there, here are some signs you might not be feeling it anymore…
1. Wandering Eyes
The eyes say it all. If your eyes are starting to wander, then soon you may be wandering out of this relationship. If you are putting out those hungry eyes every time you go out with the ladies or maybe you just downloaded Tinder just to see what’s out there — you might need to take a look at your relationship. It’s one thing to notice another attractive person, but if you’re constantly leading with your eyes, you’re leading yourself in another direction.
2. The Butterflies Have Flown Away
Where have all the butterflies gone? When you are no longer in love, it appears the butterflies have flown away. And I bet, you sure miss it. If your partner is sending you sweet loving text messages and you don’t even feel one little flutter, there might be something in the air. And it ain’t a butterfly. It’s the possibility that you have fallen out of love.
3. Sex Has Gone Out The Window
One huge (no pun intended) sign that love has left the building, is if your sex life has left as well. Once sex is off the menu, then there’s really nothing left to order in this relationship. Sex makes you two feel closer than ever. Not having it can make you feel like you two are on two different islands.
4. Best Friend Status
If you start to realize that your one and only has become your one and only best friend, this might be a sign. It’s natural for your lover to become your BFF as well. But, if the best friend role has taken over and the boyfriend/girlfriend status is questionable, you two may be holding on to a friendship, instead of a romantic relationship. I’m not saying you should binge watch Netflix together or let out those stinky farts with one another. Just make sure there you are still in love with your partner, instead of just loving him or her.
5. Cute Habits Are No Longer Cute
Remember those cute little things your boyfriend/girlfriend used to do? Well, now those “cute” habits feel like nails on a chalkboard. Love can blind us and make us see things in a different light. So when you used to think your girlfriend’s constant humming was the most adorable thing ever — now you’re holding your tongue trying not to scream at the top of your lungs. When everything your partner does is annoying and no longer cute, Houston, we have a problem.
Falling out of love is difficult to explain. It’s not easy to put this feeling into words or even put your finger on it. With that being said, you might feel one thing — that something is missing. Having this sensation of emptiness is a big sign. So, if you’re feeling that something is missing, and it’s not just your keys, it might be that you’re locked out of love.
7. No Attraction
When you are madly in love, no matter what your partner looks like, you still can’t keep your hands off them. But when you may no longer be feeling the love, you also don’t feel attracted. You find excuses to not touch each other anymore. You blame not wanting to kiss your partner on not liking PDA. When you start cringing at the thought of being intimate with your loved one, all signs point to the love being gone.
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5 Surefire Signs that You Are Holding On When the Love Is Gone
One of the hardest things in life is moving on from anything that has been an important part of your life. Whether it’s moving out of your first home, leaving a job you’ve had for over a decade (and loved), or moving on from a relationship, the process of closing one chapter and preparing to start another is tough stuff.
And because moving on can be so difficult, sometimes we don’t, even if everything around us is saying that we should. We hold on to what’s familiar and comfortable, even when it doesn’t make us happy anymore. This is particularly true when it comes to intimate relationships.
When you have invested time and energy into building a partnership with someone, walking away is the last thing you want to do. But we all know that love does not conquer all (at least that’s what I believe), and time and energy invested isn’t a good enough reason to stay committed to much of anything.
Sometimes, despite all of those factors, walking away is the best bet. You can’t keep holding on to what doesn’t work.
So how do you know what to do? How can you figure out if you are holding on to a relationship even though the love is gone?
Here are 5 surefire signs that you may be holding on even though the love is gone.
Sign #1 – You partner is no longer a priority
When you are in a committed relationship, your partner should be on your list of priorities. When they aren’t for an extended period of time, something is wrong.
You can’t build a happy life with someone if you have a laundry list of things that feel more important to you than that person does. If you partner is #15 on your list of priorities, please move on.
Sign #2 – You feel happier whenever you are not with him or her
I like to be alone. I need time to decompress so I can function at my best. My husband knows this and he respects it. It’s one of the reasons our marriage works.
But despite my desire to have time to myself, I am not happier whenever I’m away from him. When I go out of town or my husband has crazy hours at work, I genuinely miss him. I miss talking to him and laughing with him and just being with him. If you feel like your time away from your mate is always much happier than your time with him, it’s a sign that the love has faded.
Sign #3 – You can no longer envision a future together
Well if this isn’t a major sign that something is wrong, I don’t know what is. You can be upset, or even disappointed with someone, while still seeing a future together.
But once you start envisioning your future without your mate, you have to ask yourself how that person just got bumped out of your vision. Why don’t they fit into the picture anymore? And more importantly, why are you still with someone who you don’t see a future with.
Sign #4 – You partner has hurt you in ways you are just unable to forgive
I am a strong advocate for working through hard times and learning to forgive. I also know, however, that sometimes a person we love can hurt us so badly, we get stuck.
Forgiveness feels impossible. When you find yourself in a place where you just cannot move beyond the pain, after trying for a very log time, you have to ask yourself what’s next. Will you ever be able to move on with this person?
Sign #5 – You believe that there is someone else out there for you
A long-lasting, committed relationship comes from believing the person you are with is the person you should be with. When you believe otherwise, you have to ask yourself if you are holding on this person for all the wrong reasons.
You can claim to be in love with one person while believing that a better person is out there. That seems pretty unfair to you and your mate. You both deserve better than that.
(c)
so what can you say? are you assessing yourself now or there's on your mind right now while reading those articles?
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