Stages of Grief After a Breakup

Overview

Breaking up is not easy. Whether it’s a breakup from a boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, life partner or even a best friend, it takes time for wounds to heal. Even if you were the one who initiated the split, you can still go through the five stages of grief, which include anger and depression. If you give yourself time, you can eventually find yourself at the end of the grief stages, acceptance.

Denial

Denial is your brain’s automatic response to unwanted news. Denial gives your heart time to adjust to the new situation. In the denial phase you may think that your significant other is coming back to you. Everybody spends different amounts of time in the denial phase, so turn to your friends and family for support. Important people can keep you from making common denial stage mistakes, such as late-night conversations with your ex.

Anger

It is normal to be angry at your former partner. You may resent her for causing you pain or for breaking up your family. It is important in this phase not to make any rash decisions that you may later regret. In her 2013 for Psychology Today, Dr. Jennifer Kromberg states that you can go as far as sending hateful emails if you let this stage get the best of you. Allow yourself to work through your anger, perhaps by exercising, drawing or writing in a journal.

Bargaining

In the bargaining phase you will try to restore your relationship or perhaps rebuild it as a friendship. According to Dr. Jennifer Kromberg's 2013 article "The 5 Stages of Grieving the End of a Relationship," you may try anything you can to reclaim your relationship. Instead of jumping through hoops to get your relationship back, you can salvage your pride by starting anew without your ex and progress to other stages of grief.

Depression

It’s normal to be sad. At this point in your grieving, you come to terms with the fact that the situation is not going to change. This is a time for reflection. You may want to be alone. Realize the kindness of others is not intended to upset you. Instead, rely on your support system to keep you distracted from your grief. The 2013 Help Guide article "Coping with a Breakup or Divorce" reminds those in pain to resist the temptation to turn to drugs, alcohol or food. Those habits can be destructive, so eat well, sleep well and exercise.

Acceptance

It’s natural to harbor a place in your heart for loved ones. Special relationships make you who you are. However, in the final stage of grief after a breakup, you will begin to piece together what happened, accept the breakup and acknowledge the part you played in it, according to the 2013 Help Guide article "Coping with a Breakup or Divorce". The site suggests using this as an opportunity to learn from mistakes from the past and carry those lessons into the future. This is the healthiest way to fully accept a breakup and grow as an individual. The pain may not be gone completely yet, but time will heal those wounds.

(c)

It’s Not You, It’s God: Nine Lessons for Breakups

Some of a single person’s darkest days fall after a breakup.

You risked your heart. You shared your life. You bought the gifts, made the memories, and dreamed your dreams together — and it fell apart. Now, you’re back at square one in the quest for marriage, and it feels lonelier than square one, and further from the altar, because of all you’ve spent and lost.

No one begins dating someone hoping to break it off someday. The wiring in most of us has us longing for the wedding day. We’re looking, sometimes it feels frantically, for love, for affection and security and companionship and commitment and intimacy and help. After all, God seems to want most of us to be married (Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 18:22; 1 Corinthians 7:2, 9). But that sure hasn’t made getting married easy.

The Pain of Intimacy Without Matrimony

The reality is that good, Christ-exalting relationships very often fail before the ceremony, never to be recovered romantically. The pain cuts deeper and lingers longer than most pain young people have felt in their lives. I feel it deeply even typing these words. It’s one of the hardest things for me to write or speak about: the pain of intimacy that fell short of matrimony.

Breakups in the church are painful and uncomfortable, and many of us have or will walk this dark and lonely road. So here are nine lessons for building hope and loving others when Christians end a not-yet marriage.

1. It’s okay to cry — and you probably should.

Breakups almost always hurt. Maybe you didn’t see it coming, and the other person suddenly wants out. Maybe you were convinced it needed to end, but knew how hard it would be to tell them. Maybe you’ve been together for years. Maybe you love their family and friends. Without the ceremony and covenant, it’s not a divorce, but it can feel like it.

It feels like divorce for a reason. You weren’t made for this misery. God engineered romance to express itself in fidelity and loyalty — in oneness (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:2–13). Because dating is only a means to marriage, God’s design for our marriages speaks to his design for our dating relationships. Dating that dives in too quickly or dumps too carelessly does not reflect God’s intention.

This doesn’t mean every dating relationship should end in marriage, but it does mean breakups will hurt. Sorrow in the midst of the severing is not only appropriate, but good. It’s nothing to hide or be ashamed of. God created you to enjoy and thrive in love that lasts, like Christ’s lasting love for his bride. So feel free to feel, and know that the pain points to something beautiful about your God and his undying love for you.

And if it doesn’t hurt, it probably should. If you can come in and out of romance without pain or remorse, something sounds out of sync. This doesn’t mean you have to be ruined by every breakup, but there should be a sense that this isn’t right — it’s not how it’s supposed to be. Hearts weren’t built to be borrowed. God needs to show some of us the gravity of failed relationships because of what they wrongly suggest about him and his love for the church.

“God created you to enjoy and thrive in love that lasts. Hearts weren’t built to be borrowed.” 

2. Don’t try again too quickly.

Knowing and embracing God’s design for permanence in marriage and dating will help us feel appropriately, but it will also help us take healthy next steps in our pursuit of marriage. One of the worst and most popular mistakes is moving on to the next one too soon. Especially in the age of online dating and social media, we really don’t have to work very hard to find another prospect.

Affection can be an addiction. If you’ve been on dates, held hands, seen smiles, exchanged notes, experienced the sweetness of another’s attention and affirmation, you will want more. And the easiest way to find it is to rebound right away. But if we care about God, our witness, our ex, and our future significant other, we’ll wait, pray, and date patiently and carefully. It’s too easy to leave a trail of wounded people behind in our pursuit of a partner.

It’s a lie to think that you’re not moving toward marriage if you’re not dating someone right now. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your future spouse is to not date. If your history looks serial, you might need to break up with dating for a while. It can be a time to regroup, grow, and discover a new rhythm for your future relationship.

3. You may have failed, but God didn’t.

The relationship may be over because of a specific character flaw or failure. There are things about us — weaknesses or patterns of behavior — that may disqualify us for marriage with a particular person. But it does not nullify God’s grace to and through you.

Sin in relationships is some of the most visible and painful. As we let each other further and further into our lives and hearts, the sin is more likely to show itself and to cut the other person more deeply. In the right measure, it is the good and proper risk of all Christian fellowship. As people come closer, and we need this in true Christian community, our sin inevitably becomes more dangerous. Our mess is more likely to splash onto others, and theirs on us.

But whoever has done the failing in your breakup, it wasn’t God. Because of Jesus, his promises never to leave or forsake you are true every moment and in every relationship status. If you are trusting in Christ for the forgiveness of your sin and striving to follow him and his word, God has never abandoned you, and he will never abandon you. God didn’t take a break from loving you in your breakup — even if you’re the reason it’s over. His purposes are bigger than your blunders.

4. You are better having loved and lost.

There’s a unique shame and brokenness associated with breakups. Relationships and love may be celebrated more in the church than anywhere else because we (rightly) love marriage so much. Unfortunately, these same convictions often make breakups an uncomfortable conversation — at best embarrassing and at worst scandalous or humiliating.

You feel like damaged goods, like you’ve been ruined in God’s eyes or in the eyes of others. The hard-to-believe, but beautiful truth is that broken-up you is a better you. If in your sorrow you turn to the Lord and repent of whatever sin you brought to this relationship, you are as precious to your heavenly Father as you have ever been, and he is using every inch of your heartache, failure, or regret to make you more of what he created you to be and to give you more of what he created you to enjoy — himself.

When one prize is stripped away, we can graciously be reminded of how little we have apart from Christ and the fortune he’s purchased for us with his blood. He has become for us wisdom for the foolish, righteousness for sinners, sanctification for the broken, and redemption for the lost and afraid (1 Corinthians 1:30) — and affection and security and identity for the lonely man or woman reeling after the end of a relationship. So even in the aftermath of a breakup we have reason to boast, as long as our boast is in everything Christ is for us (1 Corinthians 1:31).

In Jesus, God is always and only doing good to you. There’s no circumstance facing you that he’s not engineering to give you deep and durable life and freedom and joy. He loves our lasting joy in him much more than he loves our temporary comfort today. He’ll make the trade any day, and we can be glad he does. Know that God is doing good, even when we feel worst.

“Because of God’s good and sovereign grace, you are better having loved and lost.” 

5. Even if you can’t be friends now, you will be siblings forever.

For Christian relationships, breakups are never the end. Whether it sounds appealing now or not, you will be together forever (Revelation 7:9–10). And you’ll do so in a new world where no one is married, and everyone is happy (Matthew 22:30; Psalm 16:11). Sounds too good to be true, right? So what would it mean to move on and think about our ex in light of eternity?

While you will meet again and forever in heaven, you may not be able to be friends now. And that is not necessarily sinful. In fact, in many cases, the healthiest thing emotionally and spiritually will be to create some space and boundaries. Hearts that have been given away, at whatever level, need to heal and develop new expectations again.

Reconciliation does not require closeness. It does require forgiveness and brotherly love. You could start by praying for them, even when you can’t handle talking to them. Pray that their faith would increase, that God would bring believing brothers or sisters around them, that he would heal and restore their heart, that he would make them more like Jesus.

We need to learn to live today in our relationships, old and new, in light of our eternity together. Our patience, kindness, and forgiveness in breakups will shine beautifully next to the selfish, vindictive responses modeled in reality TV and adopted thoughtlessly by the rest of the world.

6. “It’s not you, it’s God” is not enough.

It might be one of the most popular Christian break-up lines, “God is leading me to do this.” “God told me we need to break up.” “I saw a vision in a bush on my way to class and we weren’t together.” All of them can probably be summed up like this, “Look, it’s not you, it’s God.”

God very well may lead you to a breakup, but don’t use him as a scapegoat. Own your own sin and ask for forgiveness where it is needed. Then be honest about how you came to this decision, how he made this direction clear to you. Sure, some things will be intangible, but find the tangible factors. This is not a license to say harmful things, but helpful things, even if they may hurt initially.

First, it’s wise not to be alone in your opinion about the need to break up. Yes, your boyfriend or girlfriend may not agree, but you need to share and confirm your perspective with someone who loves Jesus and both of you. Go to someone you know can assess your heart in wanting to get out. If it can be a married man or woman, all the better. Talk to someone who knows what it takes to persevere in marriage, and see what they think about your “deal-breaker(s)” in the relationship.

Our imagination, especially in an emotional crisis, can be a lethal weapon that Satan leverages against us for evil. When we leave everything vague and spiritual, our ex will not, and the majority of what their mind creates will be lies from the devil to destroy them. Give them enough information about how God led you to this decision without crushing them or tearing them down.

I say “enough” because there are lots of true-but-unhelpful things you could say. Again, run your talking points past a Christian brother or sister before taking them to your soon-to-be ex. In the end, they don’t have to agree with you, but it’s loving to help them toward the clarity and closure you’re feeling. It just may free them to grow and move forward sooner and with fewer questions.

7. Your Father knows your needs.

You’re probably questioning this in the wake of your breakup, but God does know what you need, and he’s never too slow to provide it. He might reveal things to you about the things you thought you needed. Or he might simply show you how much more you need him than anything or anyone else.

God feeds the unemployed birds of the air (Matthew 6:26). God grows the flowers of the field and makes them beautiful, even though they’ll be cut, stomped, eaten, or frozen in a matter of days or weeks (Matthew 6:28–30). How much more will this Father care and provide for his blood-bought children?

When you ask for a husband, he won’t give you a snake. When you ask for a wife, he won’t give you a scorpion. Even when it looks like he’s done you harm, he hasn’t. He loves you. He knows what’s best for you. And all things are at his disposal. All things.

One way God provides for us through breakups is by making it clear — by whatever means and for whatever reason — this relationship was not his plan for our marriage. The heart of Christian dating is looking for clarity more than intimacy. This probably won’t taste sweet in the moment, but if you treasure clarity, breakups won’t be all bad news. We all know some of the news we need most is hardest for a time, but fruitful down the road.

Trust him to provide for you each day (or year) whether you get married or not. If you do get married, know that he will bring the imperfect man or woman you need.

8. Learn from love lost.

One of Satan’s greatest victories in a breakup is convincing a guy or girl, “It was all the other person’s fault, and I’ve already arrived as a future husband or wife.” The reality is no one — married or not — has fully arrived this side of glory. We are all flawed and filled with the Spirit, so we will all always be learning and growing as people and spouses — present or future.

After the emotional tidal wave has crashed and passed, take some time alone and then with close friends to assess where God’s carrying you — who he’s making you to be — through this. Identify an area or areas where you want to strive to be more gracious or more discerning or more faithful — more like Jesus — moving forward.

You won’t have many relational crossroads more intense, personal, and specific as a breakup, so it truly is a unique time for some hopeful, healthy introspection, checked and balanced by some other believers.

9. Jesus will help you find joy in the shadows of heartbreak.

When we’re left alone and feeling abandoned, it’s really hard to believe anyone knows what we’re going through. That may even be true of the good-intentioned people around you. It is not true of Jesus.

This Jesus came and was broken to give hope to the broken. “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory; and in his name the Gentiles will have hope” (Matthew 12:20–21).

The joy is not in knowing that Jesus had it hard, too. Not much comfort there. The joy is in knowing that the one who suffered in your place died and rose again to end suffering for his saints. God saved the world and defeated death through his suffering, and your suffering in the midst of your walk with Jesus — in this case, in a breakup — unites you to that victory, the greatest victory ever won. For those who hope in Jesus, all pain — unexpected cancer, unfair criticism, an unwanted break up — was given an expiration date and repurposed until then to unite us in love to our suffering Savior.

Jesus went before the broken-hearted to pave the way for joy in pain. We live, survive, and thrive by looking to him, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). His joy before the wrath of God against sin is our first and greatest reason to fight for joy — not just survival — after a breakup.

If you believe that, then make the most of this breakup, knowing God has chosen this particular path to grow and gratify you in ways that last. No relationship you have in this life will last forever, but the good things that happen through them in you — even through their sorrows, yes even through their collapses — will.

(c)

When the love is gone

I've heard a lot about failing relationship  and falling out of love and I wonder why and how it happens. So, I read some articles regarding on that issue. below are some articles I've found worth to read.

Is your relationship over? 17 signs that the love is gone

Falling in love is one of the most incredible experiences, and it often takes you by surprise. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever known, but flash forward a few years (or a few months!) into the relationship and the joy and laughter seems dulled somehow. The problem? You’re falling out of love. It can sneak up on just as quietly as falling in love did in the beginning. How can you tell if your romance is coming to an end? If you’re noticing any number of these signs, the love might be gone and it’s time for you to move on.


1. TALK OF THE FUTURE FADES AWAY. 
At first, all you can talk about is your future together. You talk about your wedding, where you’ll live, what you’ll name your kids and how you’ll spend retirement together. How often has the future come up lately? Do you find yourself avoiding the topic? It’s a clear indicator your heart isn’t in it anymore.

2. IT’S PAINFUL BEING AROUND OTHER COUPLES. 
Seeing other couples being so sickeningly happy is like a slap in the face. The two of you were once like that, right? You start to question whether you’re as happy as you should be together. You find yourself avoiding other couples because it’s just too painful. It hurts because you know it’s already over.

3. YOU SAY “I LOVE YOU” LESS. 
Trying to force the words doesn’t really work. The less you feel them, the less you say them. You might find yourself smiling and changing the subject when he says he loves you. It’s probably one of the more noticeable signs, especially for the other person. Even if you do say it often, pay attention to how you feel when you say it. If it doesn’t feel right, then you’re falling out of love.

4. COMMUNICATION IS LESS FREQUENT. 
Did you use to talk every day about your jobs, friends, hobbies, etc? Does it seem like TV is far more interesting than conversation? If you don’t live together, do you find yourself texting or calling less? You start to naturally avoid conversation as the love fades. It’s a natural instinct to prepare yourself for the impending breakup.

5. THE RELATIONSHIP IS JUST ANOTHER ROUTINE. 
You get up, get ready, kiss him goodbye, come home, eat dinner together, watch TV and fall asleep in the same position as every other night. Wash, rinse, repeat. You see the relationship as just another daily routine. There’s nothing to look forward to. You might think you’re just too comfortable, but the problem could be you don’t really love him anymore and find the relationship dull and boring. Love isn’t routine and it shouldn’t feel that way.

6. YOU’D RATHER AVOID INTIMACY. 
If intimacy happens at all, you try to make it as quick as possible. Even small things like snuggling on the couch or a quick kiss goodbye seems like you’re being smothered. Intimate moments are usually reserved for people in love. That’s what makes them special. If the love is dying, intimacy just feels wrong to you.

7. YOU NITPICK EVERYTHING. 
Your guy probably seemed perfect in the beginning. Sure, you started noticing his flaws over time, but you loved him even more for them. Now, every little thing gets on your nerves. You can’t stand how he wears his hair or that weird sound he makes when laughs too hard. And why can’t he manage to sit down easier? Yes, you get annoyed by everything he does and you’re not afraid to let him know. The love is long gone and you’re well on your way to pushing him out of your life.

8. HEARING “I LOVE YOU” MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. 
You probably feel a little guilty or uncomfortable when he tells you he loves you. Why? You don’t really feel the same. The worse you feel when he says it, the more obvious it is the love you once felt is fading away.

9. YOU SEE YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 
It’s one thing to fantasize, but another to always see yourself with another guy. The majority of your thoughts shouldn’t be of another man when you’re in a relationship. Take this as a sign that you’re no longer in love with your current guy. Respect him and let him go. Your mind and heart have already moved on.

10. IT’S EXHAUSTING TO BE TOGETHER. 
Relationships take work, but if it’s becoming exhausting just to stay together, it might be time to call it quits. Love helps give you the energy to work through the bad times. If everything feels forced and you don’t have that driving force to help boost you, you are going to feel exhausted every time the two of you are together. Give yourself a break and admit you’ve fallen out of love.


11. YOU’RE INTERESTED IN ANYTHING BUT HIM. 
Your friends, hobbies, family, pets or that incredible new chocolate covered fruit you just found are all far more interesting than him. You daydream about other things when he’s around and always seem to have plans when you should be with him. Why isn’t he interesting anymore? You simply don’t care anymore.

12. TRUST IS A THING OF THE PAST. 
As you fall out of love, you might stop trusting him as well. After all, you feel like you’re lying to him by staying. If you no longer trust him, the love is dying too. It’s time to find someone you do trust.

13. YOU SEE HIM AS MORE OF A FRIEND. 
Even if you don’t love him anymore, you might still care about him as a friend. You’ll find yourself treating him like a friend instead of a boyfriend. You’d rather hang out and talk than slip between the sheets and cuddle afterwards. The love’s gone, but you’re hoping to save the friendship.

14. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT FIXING PROBLEMS. 
Odds are, you’ve noticed the increasing number of problems in the relationship. When the love fades, the problems multiply. He might want to try to fix things, but you’re not interested. You couldn’t care less what happens. In fact, you’d be happier if things just fell apart. It’d save you the trouble of breaking up with him.

15. YOUR IDEAL FUTURE DOESN’T INCLUDE HIM. 
Once upon a time, your future was his and vice versa. Now, he doesn’t even make a guest appearance in your ideal future. You see yourself living your dreams, but he’s no where to be seen. If you were in love, you’d find a place for him. Since there’s no love, you’ve already removed him from your future.

16. YOU STAY FOR OTHER REASONS. 
The only reasons you stay with him have nothing to do with love. Maybe you have kids together or you can’t afford a place of your own. In your mind, you’re sticking around until the situation changes. If love isn’t one of the main reasons you stay with him, then you’re definitely falling out love.

17. YOU NOTICE YOU ALWAYS HURT HIS FEELINGS. 
You don’t mean to, but you’re always hurting him. Maybe he said he loved you and you just hugged him. Perhaps he made special plans and you canceled to be with your friends. You care less and less about his needs and as a result, you hurt him. You see the signs. Use that as a sign you don’t love him anymore.

Falling out of love isn’t fun, but it’s easy to notice. Do what’s best for both of you and end the relationship. It’s the only right way to handle it.

(c)

7 Signs You’re Not In Love Anymore

Falling madly, deeply in love with another person is a magical feeling. You want to shout it from the rooftops and let the whole world know. There are countless movies about falling in love, along with hundreds of self-help books that are guiding us in this direction. People are more than happy to share their experiences of falling hard for another person. They describe how fast the butterflies came the first time they kissed, or how they "just knew" when they saw the other person. But, no one really talks about falling out of love. It's not so easy to describe, and sometimes you can’t really put your finger on this feeling. You question this emotion when it comes along. Is this just a rocky road in my relationship? Will this pass? And honestly, falling out of love isn’t so black and white. It could be that you two have just ended the honeymoon phase and reality has now set in. Or, you and your partner have hit a rough patch, which every relationship will likely go through. However, with that being said, there are times when a relationship has run its course, and so has the love. As despairing as that can be, it can happen. It’s better to realize this now, rather than waiting for things to change, only to grow more unhappy in your relationship.

So, if you are unsure if the love is still there, here are some signs you might not be feeling it anymore…

1. Wandering Eyes

The eyes say it all. If your eyes are starting to wander, then soon you may be wandering out of this relationship. If you are putting out those hungry eyes every time you go out with the ladies or maybe you just downloaded Tinder just to see what’s out there — you might need to take a look at your relationship. It’s one thing to notice another attractive person, but if you’re constantly leading with your eyes, you’re leading yourself in another direction.

2. The Butterflies Have Flown Away

Where have all the butterflies gone? When you are no longer in love, it appears the butterflies have flown away. And I bet, you sure miss it. If your partner is sending you sweet loving text messages and you don’t even feel one little flutter, there might be something in the air. And it ain’t a butterfly. It’s the possibility that you have fallen out of love.

3. Sex Has Gone Out The Window

One huge (no pun intended) sign that love has left the building, is if your sex life has left as well. Once sex is off the menu, then there’s really nothing left to order in this relationship. Sex makes you two feel closer than ever. Not having it can make you feel like you two are on two different islands.

4. Best Friend Status

If you start to realize that your one and only has become your one and only best friend, this might be a sign. It’s natural for your lover to become your BFF as well. But, if the best friend role has taken over and the boyfriend/girlfriend status is questionable, you two may be holding on to a friendship, instead of a romantic relationship. I’m not saying you should binge watch Netflix together or let out those stinky farts with one another. Just make sure there you are still in love with your partner, instead of just loving him or her.

5. Cute Habits Are No Longer Cute

Remember those cute little things your boyfriend/girlfriend used to do? Well, now those “cute” habits feel like nails on a chalkboard. Love can blind us and make us see things in a different light. So when you used to think your girlfriend’s constant humming was the most adorable thing ever — now you’re holding your tongue trying not to scream at the top of your lungs. When everything your partner does is annoying and no longer cute, Houston, we have a problem.

6. Feel Something Is Missing
Falling out of love is difficult to explain. It’s not easy to put this feeling into words or even put your finger on it. With that being said, you might feel one thing — that something is missing. Having this sensation of emptiness is a big sign. So, if you’re feeling that something is missing, and it’s not just your keys, it might be that you’re locked out of love.

7. No Attraction
When you are madly in love, no matter what your partner looks like, you still can’t keep your hands off them. But when you may no longer be feeling the love, you also don’t feel attracted. You find excuses to not touch each other anymore. You blame not wanting to kiss your partner on not liking PDA. When you start cringing at the thought of being intimate with your loved one, all signs point to the love being gone.

(c)

5 Surefire Signs that You Are Holding On When the Love Is Gone

One of the hardest things in life is moving on from anything that has been an important part of your life. Whether it’s moving out of your first home, leaving a job you’ve had for over a decade (and loved), or moving on from a relationship, the process of closing one chapter and preparing to start another is tough stuff.

And because moving on can be so difficult, sometimes we don’t, even if everything around us is saying that we should. We hold on to what’s familiar and comfortable, even when it doesn’t make us happy anymore. This is particularly true when it comes to intimate relationships.

When you have invested time and energy into building a partnership with someone, walking away is the last thing you want to do. But we all know that love does not conquer all (at least that’s what I believe), and time and energy invested isn’t a good enough reason to stay committed to much of anything.

Sometimes, despite all of those factors, walking away is the best bet. You can’t keep holding on to what doesn’t work.

So how do you know what to do? How can you figure out if you are holding on to a relationship even though the love is gone?

Here are 5 surefire signs that you may be holding on even though the love is gone.

Sign #1 – You partner is no longer a priority

When you are in a committed relationship, your partner should be on your list of priorities. When they aren’t for an extended period of time, something is wrong.

You can’t build a happy life with someone if you have a laundry list of things that feel more important to you than that person does. If you partner is #15 on your list of priorities, please move on.

Sign #2 – You feel happier whenever you are not with him or her

I like to be alone. I need time to decompress so I can function at my best. My husband knows this and he respects it. It’s one of the reasons our marriage works.


But despite my desire to have time to myself, I am not happier whenever I’m away from him. When I go out of town or my husband has crazy hours at work, I genuinely miss him. I miss talking to him and laughing with him and just being with him. If you feel like your time away from your mate is always much happier than your time with him, it’s a sign that the love has faded.

Sign #3 – You can no longer envision a future together

Well if this isn’t a major sign that something is wrong, I don’t know what is. You can be upset, or even disappointed with someone, while still seeing a future together.

But once you start envisioning your future without your mate, you have to ask yourself how that person just got bumped out of your vision. Why don’t they fit into the picture anymore? And more importantly, why are you still with someone who you don’t see a future with.

Sign #4 – You partner has hurt you in ways you are just unable to forgive

I am a strong advocate for working through hard times and learning to forgive. I also know, however, that sometimes a person we love can hurt us so badly, we get stuck.

Forgiveness feels impossible. When you find yourself in a place where you just cannot move beyond the pain, after trying for a very log time, you have to ask yourself what’s next. Will you ever be able to move on with this person?

Sign #5 – You believe that there is someone else out there for you

A long-lasting, committed relationship comes from believing the person you are with is the person you should be with. When you believe otherwise, you have to ask yourself if you are holding on this person for all the wrong reasons.

You can claim to be in love with one person while believing that a better person is out there. That seems pretty unfair to you and your mate. You both deserve better than that.

(c)

so what can you say? are you assessing yourself now or there's on your mind right now while reading those articles?

30 Ways To Learn To Love Yourself And Be Happy With The World

Many people (including me) speak about “self-love”: figure yourself out, love yourself before you get into a relationship… and so it goes.

However, you only truly obtain self-love by having compassion for the self, so you can appreciate and do considerate deeds for others.

Along my path to learn about myself and work on my own self-love, I discovered several major truths that still resonate with me and support my personal effort.

I am a constant work in progress, as most of us are. To help you gain more perspective and have a foundation on which to begin your journey of self-love, here are 30 truths to remember:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. People achieve success and fail at different rates.

2. You're not as fat as you think. Besides, your body fat percentage has no bearing on what makes you a quality human being.

3. Exercise because it is good for your soul and not solely for your outward experience. Appreciate your body and all the things it can do. Stop picking it apart — you will never achieve perfection.

4. Find something at which you excel. Maybe you are really amazing at working with kids and you just don’t know it yet.

5. Spend more time with your girlfriends or guy friends. Relationships may come and go, but friends are forever — cherish that.

6. Spend time alone. It’s okay if you want to stay home on a Friday night, catch up on your DVR and eat froyo because you’ve had an exhausting workweek.

7. Read that book you've been meaning to read. In fact, read as many books as possible. Reading expands the imagination and sharpens the mind.

8. Spend time outside. Discover a new trail or a mountain to hike. Soak up the sun.

9. Take a lot of pictures. Take way too many and don't forget to print them. Don't let them just sit in your phone memory.

10. Let go of the past. Forgive the people who hurt you so that YOU can move on. Carrying around anger only poisons you.

11. Reunite with old friends from high school, college and your past in general. Let go of friendships that no longer serve you. People grow apart; it's natural and it's okay.

12. Call your friends and family more often; don't just follow them on social media. Remember when we used to have to call or meet up with people to hear their voices? That experience is so much richer.

13. Resolve the issues you might have with your family. Tell them you love them. Show up to family events and don't have something better to do.

14. Take vitamins because you want to be the healthiest version of yourself. Unless you want to be cranky and lethargic all day, make sure you get enough iron.

15. Treat yourself to something you want but don't need. Whether it's a fancy designer purse you've been eyeing for years or a plane ticket to the destination of your dreams, remember how fine the line between saving and living is. Toe it.

16. Care about your appearance — not in a vain, superficial way. Care about how you look, so you can feel great when you leave the house. But, if you feel like wearing sweatpants and your hair in a bun to the grocery store once in a while, go f*cking do it.

17. Watch that movie or that Netflix series you've been meaning to see.

18. Be active. Exercising regularly releases endorphins and contributes to your level of happiness and will help you feel better about yourself.

19. Pick up a hobby. My roommates and I ordered paint-by-numbers from Amazon. It made me feel creative and allowed for some roommate bonding time.

20. Save up money and travel somewhere new. Try the sunrise at the top of Mount Haleakala in Maui. You will literally feel like you are in heaven.

21. Laugh at yourself. If you trip over your feet or realize your shirt is on inside out, don't worry about it and make it a joke.

22. Do karaoke. Do it sober. Do it drunk. Sing. I read somewhere that the more you sing, the happier and healthier it will make you.

23. Eat less processed food. If you actually knew what was in that sh*t, you would be disgusted. Watch the documentary “Food Inc.” But, if you want to have fries, with extra, extra ranch sometimes, do it.

24. Dance. Freak Dance. Weird Dance. Make up a dance routine with your friends like you did when you were 12. Stop caring about what you look like. Have fun.

25. Smile more. The more you smile, the happier you will feel. It makes others happier, too — trust me.

26. Do favors and don't expect anything in return from the kindness in your heart.

27. Guard your heart, but be open. Don't let people take advantage of you.

28. Be less judgmental. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

29. Look up at the sky. Realize that sunsets are gorgeous. Look at the stars, as they're pretty incredible, too.

30. You will never be able to please everyone. Not everyone will like you. You won't like everyone you meet. That's perfectly fine also.

Love yourself. Enjoy the live you have been given, and embrace each day with open arms as the best version of you.

Always remember this quote by Buddha:

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

(c)

What Happens When Two People Don’t Love Equally

When two people don’t love equally, there’s a giant elephant sitting patiently in the room. Nobody wants to speak of its presence, to admit they both know it’s there. But everyone can hear it breathing, the floor creaking beneath its weight. It’s impossible to ignore. It just stays there, waiting.


When two people don’t love equally, the one with deeper affection will feel as if they’ve gone crazy. What are they missing? Is there something they could do differently? They won’t understand how sure their heart can be when the one they’re so in love with doesn’t reciprocate. They won’t understand how they can feel so much electricity from a pair of lips, as if this is how light bulbs came into existence.

When two people don’t love equally, the one with less affection will hate themselves. Maybe not fully, but an element of self-loathing will slip in. They’ll wonder what’s wrong with them, why they can’t seem to feel as sincerely.

When two people don’t love equally, there’s a lot of crying. And it comes from both parties. The kind of crying that comes when a heart is broken in a way no one can comprehend. The kind of crying that comes when you desperately wish you could change something. And maybe the worst kind — the one drenched in guilt.

When two people don’t love equally, someone gets hurt. And someone has to do the hurting.

But that doesn’t mean they don’t ache too. That doesn’t mean they aren’t breaking just as hard.





©

Minandal

with my girl friends

She doesn't deserve this

She doesn't deserve this

She doesn't deserve to be left hanging on to you when you're not sure how you really feel.

She doesn't deserve to be just a trophy girl.

She doesn't deserve to be judged according to her looks.

She doesn't deserve to be objectified.

She doesn't deserve to be an option.

She doesn't deserve to be led on.

She doesn't deserve to be cheated on.

She doesn't deserve to be left constantly wondering why she's not good enough.

She doesn't deserve to be made to wait for hours for a date only to be disappointed because you're "tired".

She doesn't deserve to be treated with little to no respect.

She doesn't deserve to be taken for granted by a man who doesn't realize her worth.

She doesn't deserve to be twisted into thinking that everything is her fault.

She doesn't deserve to be screwed over.

She doesn't deserve to be your second choice.

She doesn't deserve to be in doubt and in pain.

She doesn't deserve to be used and abused, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

She doesn't deserve you.

10 Ways to Be Happier

How happy are you―really? If there’s room for improvement, try one of these suggestions.
By Gretchen Rubin

A few years ago, on a morning like any other, I had a sudden realization: I was in danger of wasting my life. As I stared out the rain-spattered window of a New York City bus, I saw that the years were slipping by.


“What do I want from life?” I asked myself. “Well…I want to be happy.” I had many reasons to be happy: My husband was the tall, dark, handsome love of my life; we had two delightful girls; I was a writer, living in my favorite city. I had friends; I had my health; I didn’t have to color my hair. But too often I sniped at my husband or the drugstore clerk. I felt dejected after even a minor professional setback. I lost my temper easily. Is that how a happy person would act?


I decided on the spot to begin a systematic study of happiness. (A little intense, I know. But that’s the kind of thing that appeals to me.) In the end, I spent a year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and tips from popular culture. If I followed all the advice, I wanted to know, would it work?

Well, the year is over, and I can say: It did. I made myself happier. And along the way I learned a lot about how to be happier. Here are those lessons.


1. Don’t start with profundities. When I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.


2. Do let the sun go down on anger. I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.


3. Fake it till you feel it. Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.


4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things―learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places―are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.


5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.” Often the things I choose as “treats” aren’t good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.


6. Buy some happiness. Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do. You also want to have a sense of control. Money doesn’t automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences. For example, when my sister got married, I splurged on a better digital camera. It was expensive, but it gave me a lot of happiness.


7. Don’t insist on the best. There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.


8. Exercise to boost energy. I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.


9. Stop nagging. I knew my nagging wasn’t working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadn’t realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?


10. Take action. Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and making conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work. So use these tips to start your own Happiness Project. I promise it won’t take you a whole year.

 (c)

Destiny does not exist. There Facts Probability

Fate Not There. But there is a probability facts.

The destination does not exist. The destination does not exist the way we know it. Fate would not be a force. Fate has no power to control the course of our lives, because the destination does not exist.

There trajectory. And this trajectory is not controlled by fate, simply because it does not exist. The path is influenced by the facts of Probability. However, the facts of probability also not be a dominating force acting on our paths, but a set of influences trajectories.
The facts of probability can not be called Destinations, as this would be to consider that target exists the way we know it. The Facts probability is only an unknown fact that can be read by calculation.

The Universal Path, first, by its supposed beginning, until its course, later time of existence, can be seen as a card game, preferably poker. No one controls the game, there are only winners and losers, until the roles are reversed, where winners and losers lose win. In the game, it is considered the lucky ground between the players, a term that succumb later to take into consideration that the target does not exist as we know in fact.

The Facts Probability is the activity of interaction between the elements observed from probability calculations, as in poker game. That still does not mean we can calculate all of our careers and succeed with the result of our supposed future. For the future would be the result of the calculations on the facts of Odds. This is simple to understand if we realize that a person or a machine that works as calculator on a poker game, you must know the cards, the game, and calculate from that the possible possibilities with the right percentage of a possible victory in the game.

Still thinking about the Universal Path, thinking on a larger scale on the example poker, we do not know the game, we are amateurs beginners, we understand little about the offered cards, and of course in fact not also know our opponents, that is , we can not calculate successfully our possible chances to win the game, and since we do not know the game very well, we will hardly win a match. But what would make a game of this game in universal history? Would know the future of everything and so have knowledge about our own future? All the more universal question about the facts of Probability.

The interaction between each element in the universe generates results of action and reaction, and that the interaction of these elements itself is already a result of some action and reaction greatest influence. This set of interactions can be considered as a probability facts.
It is logical that we can not but speak in time and space to talk about facts Probability. By observing a watch, we take into consideration that the time of a clock has a limited space.

The time of a clock has a limited space.

We also consider that there is a possibility that one day build a time machine, that machine will not have the ability to perform travel for the future, for the time of a watch is limited, there may just be able to travel to the past, however, desconsidero latter possibility, to see that there is no past, to travel because this past became the present moment they are in now, the existence of time is a constant, all the elements are transformed with Over time, the present moment is the result, and the future will be the result of the present moment.

There is no possibility of time travel, because we already do it all the time, we are constantly traveling in time, therefore, exist in the universe, it is already traveling in time and space. Ie would not be possible to travel to the chosen time, because you can not control the weather, but we can still control the time of our watches in a limited space.

Time is a constant.

May travel to another dimension, so that they can preserve the material of the body, and then return to the source dimension would be the most likely way to move in space, completely without undergoing the influence of weather without undergo many significant changes of aging, if it successfully occur, there is a great possibility that the scope of its original size has been modified to the point you have the feeling that soon traveled back in time, even to the future, but reality is that you have just witnessed the mysterious resulting from calculation of time and space applied the conditions of travel between dimensions that kept the matter of his body, but that does not mean your sense of time accompany the radical changes of time and space. Taking also into account that this trip would have been done through a black hole, which would bring the right conditions for such a trip.

Fate, as we know, would the idea that we would be dealing with something constant and immutable, certainly nothing we could do to change this force, each of us would have our accounts in the target, and for some, could still change the paths of our lives but we could never change the destination. This is a great confusion of ideas, just that.

Life is a Facts probability, ie a result of that.

The facts of probabilities, is the calculation of the interaction between the elements of the universe.

As an example, the whole universe works basically like a card game, preferably poker.

Luck: Luck should be the name given to the specific moment it happens something very good in the midst of a bad situation, should be just that, but do not believe that luck is an influential force in the universe, not confuse it, that's an error because luck is favorable moments is when you favors with the probability of facts, there is no luck as a universal being or an entity.

With all my respect, but I will say vulgar way, Life is a game.

Written by Luangelys De Paula.

Knowing When to Walk Away from Unrequited Love

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

To say that love hasn’t obeyed my expectations would be the understatement of the century.

I have not been lucky in love. I’ve been blessed with some amazing moments over the years, but somehow have managed to choose partners who did not want what I wanted, did not feel what I felt, and did not want to walk beside me into a future together.

I have really had to sit with this and try and figure out what part of this was my doing, and how to change it, because this year I once again chose a partner who was not walking with me. Except this time not only was he not walking with me but he was subtly trying to kick my feet from under me every chance he got.

I once again entered into a relationship desperate to find love and instead found a beautiful disaster. Love is a blessing, this we know. Unrequited love is toxic, and it can eat you alive.

Falling in love can be a slippery slope, regardless of any protective barriers we may have built. It can ease in like a light a mist that settles itself beautifully over your life, or it can blindside you.

Often we fall in love with a person before we have fully gotten to know them. By this point it’s too late—you’ve already stretched your heart for someone capable of bruising it. This is what love requires: utmost vulnerability and trust. Hopes and expectations rise along with the awareness that it can slip away.

I suggest we do our best to live in the moment. Love is elastic. It stretches and retracts and changes shape constantly. It is very uncertain. One day you are over the moon and the next disillusioned.

The elastic can break. You can re-tie it, but there is now a knot. Suddenly that perfect perception of the other person is a little bit tainted. Something rocked the pedestal. Sometimes we can recover from this, sometimes we can’t.

Loyalty and commitment teach us that we are not to walk away from people that we love. Buddhism teaches us to love without expectation. There are a lot of belief systems about love and I question them often. If your love is shared and you are both happy I assume you wouldn’t have to question love at all.

But if your relationship, be it friendship or romantic love, is unbalanced and one person is hurting, how much is enough? How many pieces are supposed to break and how damaged can we allow ourselves to get before we throw these belief systems out the window and accept that this type of love isn’t healthy?

How do we do what is best for ourselves without damaging the heart and mind of someone else in the process?

Love and relationships require work and responsibility. We have to learn when to stretch and when to break.

For those of you who have been blessed to find a romantic love that is equally shared, I truly admire this and I have set the intention to find it one day. I think it all starts with being aware, open, and ready.

For a long time I didn’t believe I would find love so I subconsciously chose partners who I knew would be a challenge. I am no longer interested in this challenge. I told myself when my last relationship failed that I would never put myself in a situation where I didn’t know where I stood in someone’s life again; where I felt unsteady and unloved.

Unfortunately I did it again this year and I can promise you that it was the last time. I now know what I would like my relationship with my future partner to feel like, and that is the first step towards being open to receiving this gift. Love is a gift.

I have been tested often this year and with this came the opportunity to learn lessons. I have lived my life openly. I have experienced love and trusted the process. I fell in love, watched it grow, watched it change, and watched it fall apart.

I felt the pain, and still continue to recover from it. My heart is healing and that is a slow process, but it was necessary to hurt to have learned what I learned. For this I am grateful. I’m also grateful to my friends and family who helped me to pick up the pieces when I didn’t have the energy to do it alone.

8 things I have learned about relationships so far:

1. If there is a feeling better than love, I have not felt it. Take the risk and dive in with everything you have.

2. Enjoy the good times together as they are happening and be grateful for them.

3. Stay out of the future and in the moment. Now is certain.

4. Protect both your heart and your partner’s, whether the love is still there or not. We are human and we deserve kindness. We don’t need to add to the burdens we already carry by hurting others. Trust me, it doesn’t make things better.

5. If your relationship starts to crumble, know when to put it down and let it be. Don’t grind it into dust.

6. You cannot continue to give to another person when you are not at your best; when you are so broken, so beaten down that you have no energy left. When talking has failed and words no longer have meaning, this is when you know it is over. When you feel like this, you have to do what is best for the relationship and for each other and wave the white flag to avoid further damage.

7. Some things just won’t work, no matter how badly we wish they would. Sometimes the match that felt so right just isn’t. Please don’t do more damage to your heart by trying to fix something that has passed its expiration date. It will leave you raw.

8. It is okay to walk away from something that hurts you. It doesn’t require blame or justification. It just requires you to stop fanning the flames. You will find love again, and next time it will feel better.

Life isn’t easy. Some things build us up and some tear us down. Our hearts expand and break and rebuild—repeatedly. We are constantly learning and changing and growing. If in love you find yourself in a sticky situation like I was, please stop picking at scabs.

Nothing good has ever come from this. Stop the cycle, and let your heart heal so you can find pure love. Surround yourself with loving relationships. Something beautiful is out there waiting for you. If you feel it on the inside, you’ll find it out there.


(c)

Are you with the right partner?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind

replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it!

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥

to the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with

For your sake, I won't say your name. I know it well, and I cannot get it out of my head. But to you, you who hurt me, you who took away my relationship, you who selfishly thought of only your own happiness, thank you.

We have never met, but I know you must know who I am. I am the woman you saved through the strangest means possible. My boyfriend cheated on me with you. Through social media, you must have known I existed.

I could say congratulations or you win, or even the cliché -- you deserve each other, but I won't. I will say thank you.

You would think I would hate you, because you did to another woman what all women fear most, but I don't hate you. You have done me an incredible service that I did not have the courage to do myself.

Thank you for setting me free. Thank you for saving me a future full of pain and lies. Thank you for showing his true colors through your joint actions.

Thank you for giving me a reason to say goodbye to the biggest blockade I have ever faced. Thank you for opening my future up again.

Thank you for taking the blame, for giving me a reason to leave, to give me a reason to start over.

Thank you for reminding me that I am worth so much more than lies and deception, that I don't have to take the emotional abuse and trauma of this experience lying down.

Thank you for showing me that my dad was always right, and for letting me feel the overwhelming love of the friendships I had forgotten.

Thank you for showing me that there are better ways to spend my time and my tears. Thank you for sending me running to Jesus, for reminding me that I am nothing without my true Saviour.

Thank you for giving me a chance to have another first date, another first kiss, another chance at a pure and Christ-filled relationship.

Thank you for bringing me to my knees, for reminding me of what pain feels like, for without pain we cannot understand the beauty of healing.

Without bad, we cannot understand good.

Without your interference, I would not have lost my breath; but because of you, I have learned to breathe again.

Thank you.
Most sincerely,
The girl you helped set free

©

Laresio 2016

Finally summer's here, good to be chillin out! :) so it's summer time. Me and my friends decided to have our chill time at Laresio Lakeside Resort located at Laguna. April 17, 2016. That's the date when we discovered the greatness of Laresio.

at the bus going to Laguna

We met up by 6am. at MCDO-LRT Gil Puyat branch and we ride on the bus going to Sta. Cruz Laguna and dropped us to Brgy. Bagong Kalsada and ride a tricycle going to Laresio Resort. At 8:30am.

We were already at the reception area to buy tickets and register. We avail the All Laresio Package which included All Wet and Dry activities. For your bags, you can avail their locker for 100php but you can share it with your friend. There is also a registration fee worth 20php for the maintainance. The resort is so cool and refreshing.

 at the reception area

 at Laresio with the scenic view of Mt. Makiling

First, we did the 32ft. Slide n dip. They will offer you a life vest and it is allowed in all wet activities except in 32ft. Cliff diving. I admit, I'm so afraid because I haven't tried extreme activities my entire life yet. So, I'm the last in our group to slide and it took me almost 5mins.to slide. Hahaha! I don't know how to swim that's why that adds up on my fear. Although, we have life vest, still I'm afraid. We have taken a video but sad to say, it needs to be deleted because of the blurred video cause of the water on the lens side of our go pro. After I slid, there is a lifeguard there that will help you also.

after slip n dip

Next, we've tried the 32ft. Slip n fly. And OMG! such a horrible experience again. Still, I'm the last in our group to slide and they are so annoyed at me. Hahaha. And there it is! The feeling is so scary but enjoyable. After slip n fly, my other friends tried other activities such as 13ft. Cliff diving, 32 cliff diving etc. Before we did the slip n fly, we already made a reservation for Kayaking because you only allowed 30mins.in using the boat.

 at the locker area

in our cottage

At 10:30am, finally, it's our turn. We divided our group into 3s because the boat available is only 2. One of our friend decided not to join so we are 3 in a boat. It's so amazing Kayaking with my friends and explore the whole alligator lake. After Kayaking, we decided to have our lunch outside. There is a Karinderya outside Laresio and good to know that they will allow you to go outside and then come back. The price is very affordable since we didn't bring packed lunch though it is allowed in the resort. After eating, we decided to take some rest at nipa huts. FYI, Nipa huts are free of charge. :)

kayaking

before and after slip n fly

before going to Karinderya

 at the Karinderya

before going inside Laresio

At 2:30pm, I and my friend, Aimee decided to go to the swimming pool and few minutes later, my other friends followed us. We were so happy and enjoying the day as we ride on the banana boat in the swimming pool. After that, we did those dry activities which is zipline, rapelling and wall climbing and lastly, the vine swing.

 enjoying the view

before going to the pool

at the pool doing banana boat

After those activities, we took our dinner again in the Karinderya and then we go back to Laresio to rest. Me, I dipped myself on the hot spring while watching a movie on their big screen.

my friends on the hot spring

resting at the cottage

It was indeed amazing and spectacular if you want to try some adrenaline rush activities and I assure you, you will enjoy those activities in Laresio and your 1,000php is all worth it. I wanna go back there again maybe next summer with my boyfriend. :)

heading home

click this for the videos of activitiies

BUDGET:

Registration fee-20php
Locker rental-200php/7persons (since we get 2 lockers and divide it by 2) 29php
Bus going to Bagong Kalsada- 60php x 2= 120php
Tricycle going to Laresio-10php x 2= 20php
All Laresio Package- 1,000php